Learning The Way Of A Godly Husband
By Abraham Israel
Acronym means a word formed from the initial letters of the several words in the name. By taking the first letters of several words, a word is formed to drive forth a message to remember and understand the concept behind the acronym thoroughly. Some times it can be done in vice-versa too, which mean we take a word and for each letter we assign a related sounding word to drive the concept behind the word to be remembered and understood thoroughly by many.
Here is a word HUSBAND which I would like to be used as a acronym to drive forth a important message of the Bible for building a wonderful blessed family.
H — Honor her
The Bible says, "... In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." (Php 2:3). To honor our wife is to have great respect towards her and to think her as someone better than ourselves. Once we speak about respecting our wife, suddenly a male ego comes to many men and makes them think twice to say, "Why should I?" It is not whether we should or should not that matters at the end, what really matters is whether we are living a blessed family life or a unsatisfied miserable one? When it comes to blessing, we should always obey what God says in order to experience it first hand. Always understand that a man with an argument cannot stand against someone with a experience. In my humble experience, I have come to know that the right thinking towards one's spouse will always bring the blessing of the Lord in to the household. If we hold on to past grudges or the faulty mistakes done by them, the mindset to esteem our wife better than ourselves get spoiled. So let go and let God take control of your mind to help you think your wife better than yourself.
U — Understand her
The Apostle Peter said, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7). To dwell with our wife in understanding means, once we think of her as better person than ourselves, then we should realise that they are weaker physically and spiritually without our support. To think our wife as someone better than ourselves doesn't mean that they are better in strength, but it is a intentional thought upon which we dwell intentionally to keeps us humble enough to live in the excellence of God's grace working within us. When both the husband and wife work together, they are working as God's son and daughter who will inherit the great blessing of their Father in heaven, who would love to bless those families which are conducive for His Presence to dwell. Once the Presence of God stays strong in a house, there will always be a great prosperity in thought, unity in mind, oneness in fellowship and love among one another. We honor our wife, when we forgive her, pray for her, love her unconditionally and see her as a person who is in need of us beyond her mistakes. If the husband continues to think himself as better than his wife and starts to dominate her in everything without God's unconditional love behind his words and actions, soon God will close his ear to hear the prayer of the husband because of his wrong attitude towards his wife. Correct your bad attitude by asking sorry to both your wife and God inorder to return back in to the blessing zone of God. Never forget, both the husband and wife can be effective and blessed to live in God's excellence only when both of them work together as heir of the grace of life. In other words, when both are in equal footing and oneness, God would love to bless them more and more.
S — Sex is not about self
God says in His word, "3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Cor 7:3-4). Pleasing oneself leads to divisiveness inside the family. Rather than 'what can I give?' attitude, 'what can I get?' attitude starts to influence the home when sexual life is focussed on oneself. Mutually the husband and wife should try to please the other sexually and not look for pleasing themselves. When we try to please our spouse physically, automatiacally our sexual needs and pleasure get met. When we do family the opposite way, we make our home to become more devilish. Lucifer the light bearer of God tried to please himself rather than God and thus he became as Satan the opposer of God's purpose. God purpose is for you to have a happy and a God glorifying home on earth as it in heaven (Matt 6:10). If the purpose of God for your life needs to be fulfilled, live to please your wife with in the family and not yourself (1 Cor 7:33). Not all our touch needs to lead to intercourse, we need to touch our wives to express our sincere love of God in our heart towards them. Our wives need to know that there are times when we are holding them because we love them and not because we are looking forward to our own pleasure. Self pleasure leads to isolation, fear and destruction of a family life, but selfless pleasure and unconditional love leads to a life filled with the joy of heaven. Sexual pleasure is a sure way to express the love of God towards your wife, when you do focus on giving it rather than getting it for yourself. We worship God when we are living like Him selflessly.
B — Bond with her
Bonding takes a period of time. Even when we apply a paste to join a stick or something material, it takes time to get stuck strongly to the other. This shows that bonding is a process within marriage that we must strive to acheive in our homes. In our modern materialistic and hectic lifestyle, I see that many husbands and wives do not get bonded with one another because they have not striven to work towards acheving it even after nearly four or five years in to marriage. When you learn to listen to your wife just to let her know that you are with her in the problem she is facing, it will make your bonding to get stronger day by day. Do not despise the things that your wife thinks as a problem, instead express your concern to let her know that you are with her by helping her solve the problem if it is possible. Always giver her a surprise gift of things she likes, to let her know that she is in your thoughts even though you were apart physically. Bonding naturally takes place when we start to express our unconditional love towards our wives as Christ expressed it towards us by dying for our sins even when we were still sinners (Eph 5:25; Rom 5:8). Do not express your words or actions which will make her wrongly understand that you will love her only after she corrects herself. That kind of attitude will loosen the bond rather than strengthen it. God is the one who bonds the marriage ultimately stronger and stronger day by day, as the adage says, 'A family that prays together will stay together,' so have a regular prayer time where you come together and seek God together.
A — Always be faithful
Faithfulness is hard to find these days because more people are sold out to trust their own feelings rather than the word of God. Faithfulness can be only cultivated in a family life through the fear of God and through living a life of integrity learned over a period of time. Every decision we make must make us think that we are going to give an account to God one day for all the decisions we have made in our lives. Faithfulness is the fruit of the Spirit, so if we are in relationship to God, His faithfulness will get rubbed over our familial life too (Gal 5:22-23). When we are faithful to God, we will also be faithful to our wife. Our thinking will make us faithful or will break us from being faithful. All the unfaithfulness of men in general happens over a period of time. When a person starts to give in to the lust of the eyes (Prov 6:25), he will slowly start to fantasize something unreal and adulterous rather than be filled with the loving embrace of the God given beautiful wife (Prov 5:18-21). A man who is conscious that God is watching his thoughts always, will be very careful to avoid spiritual adultery in his mind (Matt 5:27-30). Even if he fall in it, he will immediately repent to God and will reject its evil influence in his life which has the potential to break the blessed family life in the long run (Prov 24:16; 1 John 1:7, 9). Pronography becomes a stronghold of the devil only when a person continues to choose to please himself and be faithless spiritually in his mind toward God and his wife. Throw away such evil away from you and develop faithfulness which is the foundation on which a man can live a blessed life of heaven on earth all the days of his family life. Ask God's help you to overcome sinful tendencies and he will bless you with His faithfulness.
N — Never fail to love
The Bible says, "If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised." (Sos 8:7) and also it says, "1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Cor 13:1-3). Firstly, just providing all the needs of a wife is not love in completeness but is only a part of it, love is beyond that, a longing and a desire towards the other person to enjoy her presence. Secondly, if we do not unconditionally love our wife as Christ has loved us by giving himself for our sins (Eph 5:25), all our so called spirituality will not profit us a dime for eterntiy ahead. We are deceiving ourself if we have not learned to forgive them of their mistakes and as a result of it love our wives unconditionally. God never fails in one thing, he never fails to love us. He loves us in such a way, that he is willing to unconditionally forgive us infinitely as much time as we are willing to come back to him. God restores our broken fellowship when we ask forgiveness (1 John 1:7, 9), but once we have accepted Jesus as our Savior and Lord, that time itself He has saved us from sin by forgiving our past, present and future sins all at once (Eph 4:32). What does it teaches us? It teaches us to give ourself completely to our wives in total commitment to forgive once we have got covenanted with them for life. Then when some diagreements happen and disputes come, make sure to love them even before they ask for forgiveness. In other words, align your heart attitude in such a way that no matter what may happen or have happened, say to yourself, 'My love towards my wife will be a unconditional one like my God who loves me the way I am.' Once God convicts them and they come to ask for forgiveness, make sure to love them as if a dispute or a wrong doing has never happened at all.
D — Delight in her always
Last but not the least, delight in the wife that God has given you to dwell with all the days of your life (Prov 5:18). Have great delight, pleasure and enjoyment in who she is. Never forget, though there are millions and billions of women in the world, God has chosen and custom designed this one person to be your wife for life (Eph 1:4). God only knew the exact need you have in your life and has brought you the exact person to be your wife (Gen 2:20-25), though many men may not feel like that if they are not grounded in the word of God. Believe what God says and turst in God and not in your feelings which may change now and then. Encourage her time with other women, who understand what it means to be a woman, and can affirm her femininity in ways that only women can. Delight not just in her outward beauty which fades away by age, but learn to appreciate the timeless inner beauty of her always. The woman who fears the Lord and is not proud of her external beauty will always cause great delight to a godly man (Prov 31:30). Be a godly man to build a godly home and your wife will automaticaly become a godly woman as she is the reflection of you in reality. If she is trying to improve herself, take note and encourage her, but never make the mistake of saying that you will love only after she alters or attains anything. That is a foolish thing to do. Let pleasing her be enough to please you. Be content in seeing your wife as some one who has been exactly made for you by God. God never makes mistakes but we do a lot, so learn to correct yourself when you think wrongly about your God given wife and always renew your mind reaffiming that she is the one who was thought to be your wife in the mind of God even before the foundation of the world. By doing so you will always learn to delight in who she is rather than what you want her to be.
May God help us to apply these things truthfully. Be a good husband to the wife that God has given you. When you have the help of God with you, expect the home to be a heaven on earth, because God always delights in seeing a family prosper more and more.
Much Blessings....
Here is a word HUSBAND which I would like to be used as a acronym to drive forth a important message of the Bible for building a wonderful blessed family.
H — Honor her
The Bible says, "... In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." (Php 2:3). To honor our wife is to have great respect towards her and to think her as someone better than ourselves. Once we speak about respecting our wife, suddenly a male ego comes to many men and makes them think twice to say, "Why should I?" It is not whether we should or should not that matters at the end, what really matters is whether we are living a blessed family life or a unsatisfied miserable one? When it comes to blessing, we should always obey what God says in order to experience it first hand. Always understand that a man with an argument cannot stand against someone with a experience. In my humble experience, I have come to know that the right thinking towards one's spouse will always bring the blessing of the Lord in to the household. If we hold on to past grudges or the faulty mistakes done by them, the mindset to esteem our wife better than ourselves get spoiled. So let go and let God take control of your mind to help you think your wife better than yourself.
U — Understand her
The Apostle Peter said, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7). To dwell with our wife in understanding means, once we think of her as better person than ourselves, then we should realise that they are weaker physically and spiritually without our support. To think our wife as someone better than ourselves doesn't mean that they are better in strength, but it is a intentional thought upon which we dwell intentionally to keeps us humble enough to live in the excellence of God's grace working within us. When both the husband and wife work together, they are working as God's son and daughter who will inherit the great blessing of their Father in heaven, who would love to bless those families which are conducive for His Presence to dwell. Once the Presence of God stays strong in a house, there will always be a great prosperity in thought, unity in mind, oneness in fellowship and love among one another. We honor our wife, when we forgive her, pray for her, love her unconditionally and see her as a person who is in need of us beyond her mistakes. If the husband continues to think himself as better than his wife and starts to dominate her in everything without God's unconditional love behind his words and actions, soon God will close his ear to hear the prayer of the husband because of his wrong attitude towards his wife. Correct your bad attitude by asking sorry to both your wife and God inorder to return back in to the blessing zone of God. Never forget, both the husband and wife can be effective and blessed to live in God's excellence only when both of them work together as heir of the grace of life. In other words, when both are in equal footing and oneness, God would love to bless them more and more.
S — Sex is not about self
God says in His word, "3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Cor 7:3-4). Pleasing oneself leads to divisiveness inside the family. Rather than 'what can I give?' attitude, 'what can I get?' attitude starts to influence the home when sexual life is focussed on oneself. Mutually the husband and wife should try to please the other sexually and not look for pleasing themselves. When we try to please our spouse physically, automatiacally our sexual needs and pleasure get met. When we do family the opposite way, we make our home to become more devilish. Lucifer the light bearer of God tried to please himself rather than God and thus he became as Satan the opposer of God's purpose. God purpose is for you to have a happy and a God glorifying home on earth as it in heaven (Matt 6:10). If the purpose of God for your life needs to be fulfilled, live to please your wife with in the family and not yourself (1 Cor 7:33). Not all our touch needs to lead to intercourse, we need to touch our wives to express our sincere love of God in our heart towards them. Our wives need to know that there are times when we are holding them because we love them and not because we are looking forward to our own pleasure. Self pleasure leads to isolation, fear and destruction of a family life, but selfless pleasure and unconditional love leads to a life filled with the joy of heaven. Sexual pleasure is a sure way to express the love of God towards your wife, when you do focus on giving it rather than getting it for yourself. We worship God when we are living like Him selflessly.
B — Bond with her
Bonding takes a period of time. Even when we apply a paste to join a stick or something material, it takes time to get stuck strongly to the other. This shows that bonding is a process within marriage that we must strive to acheive in our homes. In our modern materialistic and hectic lifestyle, I see that many husbands and wives do not get bonded with one another because they have not striven to work towards acheving it even after nearly four or five years in to marriage. When you learn to listen to your wife just to let her know that you are with her in the problem she is facing, it will make your bonding to get stronger day by day. Do not despise the things that your wife thinks as a problem, instead express your concern to let her know that you are with her by helping her solve the problem if it is possible. Always giver her a surprise gift of things she likes, to let her know that she is in your thoughts even though you were apart physically. Bonding naturally takes place when we start to express our unconditional love towards our wives as Christ expressed it towards us by dying for our sins even when we were still sinners (Eph 5:25; Rom 5:8). Do not express your words or actions which will make her wrongly understand that you will love her only after she corrects herself. That kind of attitude will loosen the bond rather than strengthen it. God is the one who bonds the marriage ultimately stronger and stronger day by day, as the adage says, 'A family that prays together will stay together,' so have a regular prayer time where you come together and seek God together.
A — Always be faithful
Faithfulness is hard to find these days because more people are sold out to trust their own feelings rather than the word of God. Faithfulness can be only cultivated in a family life through the fear of God and through living a life of integrity learned over a period of time. Every decision we make must make us think that we are going to give an account to God one day for all the decisions we have made in our lives. Faithfulness is the fruit of the Spirit, so if we are in relationship to God, His faithfulness will get rubbed over our familial life too (Gal 5:22-23). When we are faithful to God, we will also be faithful to our wife. Our thinking will make us faithful or will break us from being faithful. All the unfaithfulness of men in general happens over a period of time. When a person starts to give in to the lust of the eyes (Prov 6:25), he will slowly start to fantasize something unreal and adulterous rather than be filled with the loving embrace of the God given beautiful wife (Prov 5:18-21). A man who is conscious that God is watching his thoughts always, will be very careful to avoid spiritual adultery in his mind (Matt 5:27-30). Even if he fall in it, he will immediately repent to God and will reject its evil influence in his life which has the potential to break the blessed family life in the long run (Prov 24:16; 1 John 1:7, 9). Pronography becomes a stronghold of the devil only when a person continues to choose to please himself and be faithless spiritually in his mind toward God and his wife. Throw away such evil away from you and develop faithfulness which is the foundation on which a man can live a blessed life of heaven on earth all the days of his family life. Ask God's help you to overcome sinful tendencies and he will bless you with His faithfulness.
N — Never fail to love
The Bible says, "If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised." (Sos 8:7) and also it says, "1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Cor 13:1-3). Firstly, just providing all the needs of a wife is not love in completeness but is only a part of it, love is beyond that, a longing and a desire towards the other person to enjoy her presence. Secondly, if we do not unconditionally love our wife as Christ has loved us by giving himself for our sins (Eph 5:25), all our so called spirituality will not profit us a dime for eterntiy ahead. We are deceiving ourself if we have not learned to forgive them of their mistakes and as a result of it love our wives unconditionally. God never fails in one thing, he never fails to love us. He loves us in such a way, that he is willing to unconditionally forgive us infinitely as much time as we are willing to come back to him. God restores our broken fellowship when we ask forgiveness (1 John 1:7, 9), but once we have accepted Jesus as our Savior and Lord, that time itself He has saved us from sin by forgiving our past, present and future sins all at once (Eph 4:32). What does it teaches us? It teaches us to give ourself completely to our wives in total commitment to forgive once we have got covenanted with them for life. Then when some diagreements happen and disputes come, make sure to love them even before they ask for forgiveness. In other words, align your heart attitude in such a way that no matter what may happen or have happened, say to yourself, 'My love towards my wife will be a unconditional one like my God who loves me the way I am.' Once God convicts them and they come to ask for forgiveness, make sure to love them as if a dispute or a wrong doing has never happened at all.
D — Delight in her always
Last but not the least, delight in the wife that God has given you to dwell with all the days of your life (Prov 5:18). Have great delight, pleasure and enjoyment in who she is. Never forget, though there are millions and billions of women in the world, God has chosen and custom designed this one person to be your wife for life (Eph 1:4). God only knew the exact need you have in your life and has brought you the exact person to be your wife (Gen 2:20-25), though many men may not feel like that if they are not grounded in the word of God. Believe what God says and turst in God and not in your feelings which may change now and then. Encourage her time with other women, who understand what it means to be a woman, and can affirm her femininity in ways that only women can. Delight not just in her outward beauty which fades away by age, but learn to appreciate the timeless inner beauty of her always. The woman who fears the Lord and is not proud of her external beauty will always cause great delight to a godly man (Prov 31:30). Be a godly man to build a godly home and your wife will automaticaly become a godly woman as she is the reflection of you in reality. If she is trying to improve herself, take note and encourage her, but never make the mistake of saying that you will love only after she alters or attains anything. That is a foolish thing to do. Let pleasing her be enough to please you. Be content in seeing your wife as some one who has been exactly made for you by God. God never makes mistakes but we do a lot, so learn to correct yourself when you think wrongly about your God given wife and always renew your mind reaffiming that she is the one who was thought to be your wife in the mind of God even before the foundation of the world. By doing so you will always learn to delight in who she is rather than what you want her to be.
May God help us to apply these things truthfully. Be a good husband to the wife that God has given you. When you have the help of God with you, expect the home to be a heaven on earth, because God always delights in seeing a family prosper more and more.
Much Blessings....
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