Married Two Wives Before Coming To Christ, What Should I Do Now?
Question : This is in reference to your response to the question previously done with a heading : Can We As Christian's Divorce And Marry Again? Does God Really Permit It?. Dear sir I would like to ask that can a Christian have 2nd wife even while he has his first wife?, because in the Gospel of Matthew we read in the Great commands of Jesus Christ that if one leave his wife and marry with the other, he commits adultery. I want to know that if a Christian does not leave his first wife can he get the other as his 2nd wife and have 2 wife at the same time?
I have gone through your answer and I am quite convinced with the way you could provide supporting verses from Bible that man should live with only one wife at a time.
I have few queries:
1. Original will of God: Epistle to Corinthians by Paul was written somewhere in 60AD wherein he specifies man cannot have more than one wife. From Adam to Birth of Jesus Christ the total period was close to 4500 years. Nowhere in this period God revealed that man cannot have more than one wife. In fact even Jesus Christ (the son of God) was against people who were divorcing their wives for any reason. So where is the original will of God mentioned? Why Abraham had three wives? We Christians are his descendant right?
2. I came to Christ 3 years back, I have two wives at present. I am living with my first wife as my Church doctrines does not permit me to live with my second wife however I have not left my second wife. My first marriage is 13 years old and second is 6 years old. When I married to my second wife I was not in Christ, hence I did not come to know the will of God. I cannot settle down financially and ask her to get married to another person. Bible says if I am divorcing my wife except for the cause of unfaithfulness then I am committing adultery. I want to take care of both of my wives because I love both and care for both. I cannot disappoint any of them. It is not their mistake, it is my mistake that I married both. Is there any solutions to my complicated problem ???
Answer : Greetings to you in Jesus wonderful name! Praise the Lord!
If a Christian has a second wife even while he has his first wife, he is living in adultery. Jesus was asked the same question by the Pharisees who came to test Him. Pharisees were always looking for the so called loopholes within language of the Scripture to give their diluted interpretation to others who look up to them who are in the seat of Moses and thus let loose the people of God in licentiousness based on it, so that some personal benefit they could get out of it (Matt 23:2-3, 13, 14-15, 23, 25).
The Word of God says, " 3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4 And He [i.e. Jesus] answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” 8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” 10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”" (Matt 19:3-10).
When did and in what circumstances did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and put her away?
Here is what Moses said, “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her [i.e. he finds something indecent about her], and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, 4 then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance." (Deut 24:1-4).
In fact, people used the above verse from the Law of Moses to divorce a woman for almost anything and any reason. In other words, when a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she does things displeasing to him, then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her which may be physical, mental or spiritual, he had the rights under the law of Moses to write her a certificate of divorce, put it in her hand, and sends her out of his house. And also she after being sent out of the house and having become divorced, had the rights to become another man's wife legally (Rom 7:2). While her husband lives, she marries another man without legal divorce given her, she will be called an adulteress (Rom 7:3). So once a woman gets remarried, the ex-husband in no way had the rights to take her in even if she comes because of her life tragedy of losing her present husband she had due to any circumstances which is a abomination before the Lord and sin on the land, because according to the law of Moses she had defiled herself with another man and proved not worthy to marry her ex-husband for anymore reason.
In other words before God, marriage is a lifetime relationship that should never be severed by human action. In the book of Malachi, God says that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). God does not permit in the sacred institution of marriage to keep changing partners as though they change their apparel which is used for sometime and are thrown away because they are bored of wearing the same. In fact, God Himself expects the institution of marriage to be kept honorable by all couples who are married by keeping their bed pure, which means again God expects each man and a woman who is married to stick on only to their own married partners in sharing emotional, sexual and intimate life experiences. Anybody who will fornicate by barging in to the forbidden territory of moving intimately with another man's wife or a husband, or a man's wife or a husband who crosses the God given boundary of marriage and does adultery with any other of the opposite sex, God Himself has promised to judge these fornicators or adulterers in his own time as He is the head of the marriage institution until today (Heb 13:4).
So is there any valid reason now to divorce one's wife or a husband?
God's perfect will is the preservation of society and future generations by the preservation of marriages. God will give anyone great help in sustaining a marriage relationship or in the reconciliation of estranged marriage partners to take their own time and at the max come together again safely in to the same marriage (1 Cor 7:10-11, 20). Just because a wife has left, the husband should not divorce his wife if she had left without valid reason (1 Cor 7:11). But a husband should look for reconciliation as much as possible as women are weaker vessels by nature (1 Peter 3:7; Rom 12:18). In extreme cases, there are only two grounds for divorce and remarriage.
1) When adultery has taken place, a divorce can be obtained, because adultery has already severed the marriage relationship and divorce is a formal acknowledgment of what has already taken place.
2) If an unbelieving spouse leaves a believer, the believer is not bound to the marriage relationship, but is free to remarry (1 Corinthians 7:15). When a unbelieving husband so brutalizes his wife that she says it is impossible to live with him any longer; or when a unbelieving wife has so harassed, or brutalized her husband that he says that it has become impossible for him to stay with her, in such cases it is better to stay separately for a while to think alone and through the intervention of the Church and its elders seek a pact of of peace between each other and get their willingness to carry on without the other getting affected either physically or emotionally according to the law of the land (Matt 5:9; Rom 12:17-18). If the unbeliever or the uninformed or the rebellious believer takes you to the court (1 Cor 14:23), accept it but try reconciliation as much as possible. First of all it is a shame for a believer to take their brethren to court when they should have first tried to come through the Church (1 Cor 6:1, 4, 5-6, 7, 8). Apostle Paul warns the so called believers who take their brethren to court, if they do not in anyway change their bad behavior, it shows that they are not true believers and will go to hell fire or else a mortal judgment towards death will happen if they continue to stay in rebellion against the Lord and His Church causing shame to Him (1 Cor 6:9-11; 5:1, 4-5; 11:29-30, 31-32; Matt 18:15-20). If any man or woman does not hear the Church and its elders to abide by their word, they are considered as unbelievers spiritually (Matt 18:17; 1 Cor 7:15). If the believer is willing to carry on in spite of the risk and the unbeliever agrees, commit that marriage in to the hands of God and see whether the other person is touched by God over a period of time where he too has the possibility of becoming a believer seeing the chastity of the wife or the husband (1 Peter 3:1-2; 1 Cor 7:12, 13-14, 16). If there is physical brutality and mental torture which makes it impossible to live with the spouse without endangering oneself, then one need to think and tell the person who causes it to restrain himself or herself from such things, or stay alone for sometime to think over reconciliation if possible or leave the relationship with divorce if they want to as they want to continue to act as a unbeliever. If a deceptive and voluntary desertion happens because of one's faith, the believer is not bound to the marriage relationship but rather is free to remarry.
There Can Be No Reason For Divorce In Christian Marriage Because Forgiveness Rules
Except for these above reasons, there is no justification given in the Bible for divorce. No grounds exist for divorce on the basis of incompatibility, lack of love, or differing career goals. Frankly, it seems impossible that two born-again Christians who are dedicated to serving Jesus Christ can find any grounds for divorce. For Christians who have divorced (after being born again) for reasons other than adultery or desertion, I believe they should either be reconciled to their Christian mates or remain unmarried (1 Cor 7:11). Divorce and remarriage for any reason are truly unthinkable for two people who sincerely love God and are trying to serve Him.
Even when a divorce is done because of lack of faithfulness to one's partner, even though it is a just ground to divorce the partner for her infidelity, according to the New Testament way of God's forgiveness even when we were his enemies as sinners, He loved us and saved us to make us friends with Himself, it gives us much more compassion towards the other partner to forgive them if she or he repents to the Lord, to us and others around them (Rom 5:8; Eph 4:32). God forgave us even before we came back to Him asking sorry, and he saved us once we asked sorry to repent for our sins done against Him (Col 3:13; 2 Sam 12:13-14). Even the prophet Hosea who married a prostitute symbolically, representing how God's people Israel have been unfaithful to Him who is the true husband. And then as she still strays and goes away from Him after other men to whom she does not belong (Hos 1:2-3, 4, 6, 7, 9; 3:1-3; 5:15; 6:1; 14:1-2, 3-4, 4-5, 6-8, 9), God in His mercy still invites them to come back because of His unceasing love and He does insist them to repent and ask sorry, then return back to Him so that He will accept them in spite of their shortcomings and failures so that they could stay faithful to Him (Hosea 6:6). Even Christ who is called the bridegroom of the Church which is represented as bride, Christ loved us sacrificially and unconditionally to save sinners like us to become a part of His Glorious bride (Eph 5:25), at the same time with that same unconditional love and faithfulness He loves us and suffers with us to the end to actually save us all whom He had already chosen (John 10:27-29; 1 Peter 2:21, 22, 23; 2 Peter 3:15). Even when we are unfaithful to Him, He remains faithful to us in saving us to the end (2 Tim 2:13). God has told us to love our wife just the way Christ loved us and loves us, if we cannot forgive their shortcomings and even their infidelity when they come to us in repentance we no way represent Christ in any way (Col 3:13; Heb 7:25; 10:16-17, 18; Heb 12:2-3, 15). God hates all divorce because it is the innocent children who go through untold suffering in their lives for the sins their parents do (Mal 2:14, 15, 16-17), God wants reconciliation as much as possible to get back in to a family that he had made, unless it is impossible in certain grounds because of unrepentant spouse who keeps being adamant without even the slightest repentance for all the wrong done against one's partner in covenant, against their children, against God and others who are the extended families involved in their lives (Rom 12:18, 17, 19).
Obviously, when a person who does not have biblical grounds for divorce remarries, he or she is technically committing adultery.
The Law Of Moses Was Temporal Until Christ Would Come
Having clearly said about the law of remarriage and divorce, I also say that the Levitical and ceremonial law of Moses was made by God and was given temporarily to keep people from lawlessness, till Christ should come and give us a hope of drawing near to God through His High Priestly ministry in heaven (Heb 7:19; Gal 3:19). Now that we draw near to God who is in heaven directly from earth by faith through the blood of Jesus (Heb 10:22; 4:16), we cannot go back to the lower standard of the Law of Moses which was given only temporarily as it is a copy and shadow of the substance who is Christ (Col 2:17; Heb 8:5), faulty in certain aspects like in the area of marriage (Heb 8:7), the new covenant has made the old out of date and therefore is no longer valid, ready to vanish once the Millennium rule of Jesus comes in which Jesus will give all humans new directive to worship God (Mic 4:2; Isa 2:3; Rev 19:11, 14; 20:6), until then the law of Moses is to be used for nothing other than for reference and understanding of the shadow of Christ for deeper education and edification (Heb 8:13; Rom 15:4; 1 Cor 10:11; John 1:16-17; Philemon 1:25).
The Law of Moses regarding having more than one wife permits it because of the hardness of man's heart which had no chance at that time to get regenerated without the good news of Christ death and resurrection (1 Cor 15:1-2, 3-4), and therefore receive a heart of flesh instead of the natural fleshly heart of stone (Matt 19:8; Ezek 36:26; 11:19-20). But the law of Moses gave hope and clear instruction of the coming Messiah who will save them from the bondage of sin like himself who saved them from Egyptian bondage (Deut 18:15-22; Matt 1:21; Luke 1:68, 77). But we as Christians who are redeemed by Jesus and have been given knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of sins (Col 1:14; 2:13-14), being sealed by the Holy Spirit for the day of redemption and empowered by the Holy Spirit to walk in the perfect way of God (Eph 1:13-14; 2 Cor 1:22; Heb 10:15-17; Acts 1:8), we cannot look down below our potential in Christ because Jesus has said (Rom 8:37; 2 Cor 2:14; Php 4:13), to whom much is given much reward will be given back by God if he uses it to the maximum in obedience as much will be required of him by God, at the same time if he under uses and try to justify himself it will be unacceptable to God as he will chastise for him/her to repent or else they will lose all reward and, if he is a unbeliever he will be punished eternally and severely (Luke 12:43-44, 45-46, 47-48).
Here is what Jesus says about this issue of marriage in the light of Old Testament and New Testament with which we have discussed, "16 “The law and the prophets were until John. Since that time the kingdom of God has been preached, and everyone is pressing into it. 17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one tittle of the law to fail. 18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery." (Luke 16:16-18). In other words Jesus said, do not try to take the Old Testament Scripture out of context and try to mock God and justify yourself in regard to your moral failure within your marriage and other things like coveting and loving money, instead accept your failure and sinfulness before God and accept the gospel by which all the law has been fulfilled to receive perfect righteousness of God for all who believe (Luke 16:13, 14-15; Matt 23:14; Luke 18:13-14; Matt 5:17-18, 19, 20; Rom 4:5-6; 3:23, 21-22).
The Law of Moses permitted more than one wife because of hardness of heart and it is spoken in the Firstborn Inheritance Rights as follows, " 15 “If a man has two wives, one loved and the other unloved, and they have borne him children, both the loved and the unloved, and if the firstborn son is of her who is unloved, 16 then it shall be, on the day he bequeaths his possessions to his sons, that he must not bestow firstborn status on the son of the loved wife in preference to the son of the unloved, the true firstborn. 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his." (Deut 21:15).
Also the Law of Moses permitted Female Captives of a war to be married to those soldiers who desired to marry them, in other words if the warriors find the captive women as beautiful and desire her and take her as his wife, let them marry her with some required guidelines and safety for the alien person (Deut 21:10-14).
The Original Will Of God In Creation Is One Wife For Life
Coming to answer you question which you have asked, yes in the Gospel of Matthew when Jesus says, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery,” (Matt 19:9) which implies that man not only can divorce her without any proper reason which we have seen above, but it also does clearly points that a man can have only one wife at a time and according to God's decree it is one wife for life. How do we know this, because Jesus reveals it by referring to creation time in which according to the original will of God he created one Adam for one Eve to institutionalize marriage under Him, with Himself presiding over it as the head and the conductor of it. God being the father and mother of Adam by creation, and Adam being the son of God (Luke 3:38), Adam left the Father of his life [i.e. God (Psa 68:5)] and was joined by God his Father to Eve who was taken out of Adam, so that God who joined two to become one flesh might bless their union as they keep the covenant of marriage made before God to remain by remaining faithful to the boundary between two to become one in union in God [Note: God did not join 1 Adam + 2 women to become 1 flesh].
So according to God two can become one in marriage and there cannot be any more than that to accommodate within that original will of God for marriage (Gen 2:24; Eph 5:31). A Christian cannot have two wife at the same time as it is adultery according to Jesus' own words in the New Testament. God says that whoever tries to separate the union of two which has become one in God, God will judge them whether it is done by some man or woman in lust, or by the father or mother or some friend who is close (Prov 18:24; 1 Cor 6:16, 18; Gen 2:24-25; Heb 13:4). In other words, whenever two person of opposite gender get together in sexual union in the eyes of God they become one flesh which is allowed according to Him only within the marriage commitment and covenant done before Him. One cannot marry another without one being divorced, or else not only the person who divorced commits adultery but also he or she who has divorced their partner also made the other to commit adultery. In other words when a man divorces a woman without proper reason, the divorced woman might remarry with another man outside of marriage covenant already existing in the sight of God, thus the ex-husband makes her a victim of adultery by having forced her out of marriage without a proper reason for justification before God (Rom 7:2; Mark 10:11-12; Matt 5:32; 1 Cor 7:2).
Paul specifies that a leader of the New Testament Church should be a man of one wife, in order to be an example to the Church so that all can follow their godly example (1 Tim 3:2; Titus 1:5-6; 1 Cor 11:1). A person with two wives cannot be a New Testament leader in the Church which is the basic standard set for them in the area of marriage.
From Adam to Birth of Jesus Christ the total period was little more or less to 4000 years, nowhere in this period God revealed by any law that man cannot have more than one wife, because humans were not given a new heart of flesh to have the ability to walk in the higher level of the law of God until Jesus came and revealed it saying, "You have heard that it was said [...] (murder v anger), You have heard that it was said [...] (adultery v lust), It was also said [...] (divorce), [...] Again you have heard that it was said [...] (oaths), You have heard that it was said [...] (an eye for an eye : Vengeance and Justice), You have heard that it was said [...] (hate/love your enemy), but for all these things of the Old Testament, He again overrides it all and says, "But I say to you, [...AND SET A VERY HIGH STANDARD OF LAW THAN PREVIOUSLY...which is perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect, so walk in it.]" (Matt 5:20, 22, 23-24, 28, 32, 34, 39, 44, 48), which clearly shows that Jesus Christ (the son of God) was not just speaking against the people who were divorcing their wives for any reason, but it was also against marrying more than one, in fact He was emphasizing that one wife for life is the perfect Heavenly Father's set path of God's will to fulfill for every human in this planet earth (Heb 11:39, 40; Rom 5:14; Matt 19:4-5, 6). The law of conscience stood from Adam to Moses (Rom 2:11, 14, 12), from Moses to Jesus Christ the Son of God the Law of Moses stood (Rom 2:13, 12) and finally from Jesus to our generation the grace of Jesus stands which is what God requires of us to receive, then walk and glorify Him (John 1:17; Heb 1:1-2; Titus 2:11-14, 15; Mic 6:8; John 6:28-29, 39-40; Rom 6:14). The original will of God is not mentioned implicitly but can be inferred from what Jesus explicitly said referring to the creation story in which God created Adam and Eve (Matt 19:4-5, 6; Gen 1:27; 2:7, 15-18, 20-25).
Why Abraham had three wives? We Christians are his descendant right?
As for Abraham specifically, aside from the affair with Hagar which he faltered hearing the voice of his wife who was influenced by the world around her instead of God which caused too much confusion within the family (Gen 16:1-2, 3-4, 5), nothing more can be pointed at him. But as God instructed Abraham to again hear and heed Sarah this time to send her maid Hagar the Egyptian and her son away, he obeyed God but was heart broken (Gen 21:8-14), in that broken state of heart he stayed married to one wife (Sarah) until she passed (Gen 23:1, 2-20), after which he married Keturah and had children with her (Gen 25:1-6). From this we see that Abraham the Father of our faith did value the original will of God to stay in a monogamous relationship of one spouse at a time all the days of his life except when he made a mistake of hearing his wife's advice without consulting God but rather assuming it might be God's will in which he unfortunately failed by mistake and the weakness of the flesh (Rom 4:11-12, 16, 24; Gal 3:7, 13-14, 29). God has shown the weakness of Abraham not to follow him, but rather avoid it by learning the lesson that only a monogamous relationship can be the one and only will of God for humankind, and that polygamy is against that will of God and will therefore cause confusion within the family life (1 Thess 5:21-22; 1 Cor 10:11; Rom 15:4). Having two wives at the same time caused a lot of confusion and hatred within the family life of Elkanah (1 Samuel 1:1-2, 4-5, 6-7, 8, 10).
There were specific instructions for the king of Israel to not acquire many wives for himself (Deut 17:14-17), since that could have the effect of turning his heart away from the Lord and thus not keep his commandments and please him (Psa 119:162; Eccl 12:13). David and Solomon knew that this was forbidden but because of the hardness of their unregenerate heart (Prov 25:2; Psa 51:5), they budged in to their temporal pleasures of sin for which David who did in a small way got so much confusion within his own family, and Solomon his son continued in his sinful legacy to marry hundreds of wives finally to turn away completely from the Lord to serve pagan gods which God hated (1 Kings 11:1-2, 3-4, 9-11). David had Michal (2 Samuel 6:14–22), Abigail (1 Sam 25:37), Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:1–17) who was another man Uriah the Hittite a trusted soldier's wife taken illegally through murder, and thus brought upon his family the curse of God that the sword shall never depart from his house because he has despised the Lord, and by this deed have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme (2 Sam 12:10, 14-15). The other five named wives of David were Ahinoam, Maacah, Haggith, Abital, and Eglah (2 Samuel 3:2–5; 1 Chronicles 3:1–3). According to 2 Samuel 5:13, David married more wives in Jerusalem, but how many is unknown.
These above weaknesses of God's men are shown not to follow their bad examples, but to follow their faith in God and the exploits they did with their faith. And another thing we should take in to consideration is, because they were not saved and regenerated with a new heart in the Old Testament but rather waited for Christ to come and take them to heaven from Sheol the place of departed spirits, they did not have the power over sin like all Christians do (Rom 6:14). In other words, the Holy Spirit of God came upon them because of their faith to do great works now and then, but he was not in them as He is in all the Christians to teach them the way of God to walk in the will of God, and also give them the strength to keep it and be with them always and encourage them to walk in it always (John 14:17, 26; 15:26-27; 16:7, 13; Acts 1:8; 10:44-45, 46-47, 48; 11:16-17). What did we see just before? Jesus has clearly said, " 47 And that servant who knew his master’s will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more." (Luke 12:47-48). So let us be careful to walk in the will of God and please God always in all things (Rom 12:1; 2 Cor 5:9; Col 1:10; 1 Thess 4:1). GLORY TO GOD!
How Can We Deal Two Wives Married Before Coming To Christ?
Brother, I understand your dilemma, if you had married another wife after you had come to Christian faith, you have to face the consequence of it in reaping through confusion and more confusion until the sin will find you out (Num 32:23; Gal 6:7-8). But because you have married your second wife before you came to accept the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you did in ignorance of the will of God (Rom 10:13), so now you have received the mercy of the Lord (1 Tim 1:13). Now God wants you to walk in wisdom and in the will of God which is to be filled with the Spirit, praising Him always and thanking Him for His mercy and grace, singing songs to the Lord out of your heart, submitting to one another which includes your first wife (Eph 5:17-18, 19-20, 21). If like to Abraham your wife says and feels that you need to send the second wife away, ask the Lord for confirmation like Abraham and do it if the Lord will's, even though it might be personally displeasing to you because of the mistakes of your past and emotional attachment to the second wife and her children (Gen 21:8-10), but support her monetarily to keep the family afloat because it was your mistake or in other words your ignorance of the perfect will of God that brought this whole issue in to existence (Gen 21:20-21). I believe that is what you have already done now. If not also, do as the Lord says who now speaks directly in to your heart from heaven (Heb 12:22, 25, 28-29). The Lord understands your situation very well, he will speak to you specifically regarding this final issue (Matt 22:32; 1 John 2:20, 27), according to Paul if she your second wife as equal to a widow seeks to stay by your financial support do not send her away from your support even though she might be a believer or unbeliever, kind of applies in this area also mildly if not directly (1 Cor 7:12-13; 1 Tim 5:16). Second wife they always called as concubine, mistress and equal to the privilege of a widow in their rights. A widow can also be a woman often left alone for the husband to take care of some other sports, hobby or family.
I finally come to a strong conclusion, that though you did marry the second wife along with your first wife in ignorance before coming to the Lord, if you want perfect satisfaction in Christian life, you should stop doing what you have been doing in your past life which you have done before coming to the Lord (Eph 4:28). So take care of your first wife and stay with her in monogamous relationship according to the perfect will of God (1 Tim 5:8), at the same time as I told earlier support the second wife and her children to take care of them financially supporting them with their need so that they can independently carry on in their lives (1 Tim 5:3-4, 5-6, 7). Especially people who turn to Christ from Muslim background have this kind of problem in their lives, where previously according to their financial ability they were left to themselves to take their own choice to have in marriage even up to four wives. Even when you want to support financially, if your second wife wants to remarry knowing that you are going to stay monogamous in relationship with your first wife, let her freely take her choice if you really want to be in the perfect will of God (1 Cor 7:15-16). But again, if she wants to stay receiving just the financial support from you, please do continue to support her financially and help her to independently live by faith and trust in God and also help her become financially independent to carry on in life for the Glory of God (1 Tim 5:16).
Much Blessings......
I have gone through your answer and I am quite convinced with the way you could provide supporting verses from Bible that man should live with only one wife at a time.
I have few queries:
1. Original will of God: Epistle to Corinthians by Paul was written somewhere in 60AD wherein he specifies man cannot have more than one wife. From Adam to Birth of Jesus Christ the total period was close to 4500 years. Nowhere in this period God revealed that man cannot have more than one wife. In fact even Jesus Christ (the son of God) was against people who were divorcing their wives for any reason. So where is the original will of God mentioned? Why Abraham had three wives? We Christians are his descendant right?
2. I came to Christ 3 years back, I have two wives at present. I am living with my first wife as my Church doctrines does not permit me to live with my second wife however I have not left my second wife. My first marriage is 13 years old and second is 6 years old. When I married to my second wife I was not in Christ, hence I did not come to know the will of God. I cannot settle down financially and ask her to get married to another person. Bible says if I am divorcing my wife except for the cause of unfaithfulness then I am committing adultery. I want to take care of both of my wives because I love both and care for both. I cannot disappoint any of them. It is not their mistake, it is my mistake that I married both. Is there any solutions to my complicated problem ???
Answer : Greetings to you in Jesus wonderful name! Praise the Lord!
If a Christian has a second wife even while he has his first wife, he is living in adultery. Jesus was asked the same question by the Pharisees who came to test Him. Pharisees were always looking for the so called loopholes within language of the Scripture to give their diluted interpretation to others who look up to them who are in the seat of Moses and thus let loose the people of God in licentiousness based on it, so that some personal benefit they could get out of it (Matt 23:2-3, 13, 14-15, 23, 25).
The Word of God says, " 3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4 And He [i.e. Jesus] answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” 8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” 10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”" (Matt 19:3-10).
When did and in what circumstances did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and put her away?
Here is what Moses said, “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her [i.e. he finds something indecent about her], and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, 4 then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance." (Deut 24:1-4).
In fact, people used the above verse from the Law of Moses to divorce a woman for almost anything and any reason. In other words, when a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she does things displeasing to him, then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her which may be physical, mental or spiritual, he had the rights under the law of Moses to write her a certificate of divorce, put it in her hand, and sends her out of his house. And also she after being sent out of the house and having become divorced, had the rights to become another man's wife legally (Rom 7:2). While her husband lives, she marries another man without legal divorce given her, she will be called an adulteress (Rom 7:3). So once a woman gets remarried, the ex-husband in no way had the rights to take her in even if she comes because of her life tragedy of losing her present husband she had due to any circumstances which is a abomination before the Lord and sin on the land, because according to the law of Moses she had defiled herself with another man and proved not worthy to marry her ex-husband for anymore reason.
In other words before God, marriage is a lifetime relationship that should never be severed by human action. In the book of Malachi, God says that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). God does not permit in the sacred institution of marriage to keep changing partners as though they change their apparel which is used for sometime and are thrown away because they are bored of wearing the same. In fact, God Himself expects the institution of marriage to be kept honorable by all couples who are married by keeping their bed pure, which means again God expects each man and a woman who is married to stick on only to their own married partners in sharing emotional, sexual and intimate life experiences. Anybody who will fornicate by barging in to the forbidden territory of moving intimately with another man's wife or a husband, or a man's wife or a husband who crosses the God given boundary of marriage and does adultery with any other of the opposite sex, God Himself has promised to judge these fornicators or adulterers in his own time as He is the head of the marriage institution until today (Heb 13:4).
So is there any valid reason now to divorce one's wife or a husband?
God's perfect will is the preservation of society and future generations by the preservation of marriages. God will give anyone great help in sustaining a marriage relationship or in the reconciliation of estranged marriage partners to take their own time and at the max come together again safely in to the same marriage (1 Cor 7:10-11, 20). Just because a wife has left, the husband should not divorce his wife if she had left without valid reason (1 Cor 7:11). But a husband should look for reconciliation as much as possible as women are weaker vessels by nature (1 Peter 3:7; Rom 12:18). In extreme cases, there are only two grounds for divorce and remarriage.
1) When adultery has taken place, a divorce can be obtained, because adultery has already severed the marriage relationship and divorce is a formal acknowledgment of what has already taken place.
2) If an unbelieving spouse leaves a believer, the believer is not bound to the marriage relationship, but is free to remarry (1 Corinthians 7:15). When a unbelieving husband so brutalizes his wife that she says it is impossible to live with him any longer; or when a unbelieving wife has so harassed, or brutalized her husband that he says that it has become impossible for him to stay with her, in such cases it is better to stay separately for a while to think alone and through the intervention of the Church and its elders seek a pact of of peace between each other and get their willingness to carry on without the other getting affected either physically or emotionally according to the law of the land (Matt 5:9; Rom 12:17-18). If the unbeliever or the uninformed or the rebellious believer takes you to the court (1 Cor 14:23), accept it but try reconciliation as much as possible. First of all it is a shame for a believer to take their brethren to court when they should have first tried to come through the Church (1 Cor 6:1, 4, 5-6, 7, 8). Apostle Paul warns the so called believers who take their brethren to court, if they do not in anyway change their bad behavior, it shows that they are not true believers and will go to hell fire or else a mortal judgment towards death will happen if they continue to stay in rebellion against the Lord and His Church causing shame to Him (1 Cor 6:9-11; 5:1, 4-5; 11:29-30, 31-32; Matt 18:15-20). If any man or woman does not hear the Church and its elders to abide by their word, they are considered as unbelievers spiritually (Matt 18:17; 1 Cor 7:15). If the believer is willing to carry on in spite of the risk and the unbeliever agrees, commit that marriage in to the hands of God and see whether the other person is touched by God over a period of time where he too has the possibility of becoming a believer seeing the chastity of the wife or the husband (1 Peter 3:1-2; 1 Cor 7:12, 13-14, 16). If there is physical brutality and mental torture which makes it impossible to live with the spouse without endangering oneself, then one need to think and tell the person who causes it to restrain himself or herself from such things, or stay alone for sometime to think over reconciliation if possible or leave the relationship with divorce if they want to as they want to continue to act as a unbeliever. If a deceptive and voluntary desertion happens because of one's faith, the believer is not bound to the marriage relationship but rather is free to remarry.
There Can Be No Reason For Divorce In Christian Marriage Because Forgiveness Rules
Except for these above reasons, there is no justification given in the Bible for divorce. No grounds exist for divorce on the basis of incompatibility, lack of love, or differing career goals. Frankly, it seems impossible that two born-again Christians who are dedicated to serving Jesus Christ can find any grounds for divorce. For Christians who have divorced (after being born again) for reasons other than adultery or desertion, I believe they should either be reconciled to their Christian mates or remain unmarried (1 Cor 7:11). Divorce and remarriage for any reason are truly unthinkable for two people who sincerely love God and are trying to serve Him.
Even when a divorce is done because of lack of faithfulness to one's partner, even though it is a just ground to divorce the partner for her infidelity, according to the New Testament way of God's forgiveness even when we were his enemies as sinners, He loved us and saved us to make us friends with Himself, it gives us much more compassion towards the other partner to forgive them if she or he repents to the Lord, to us and others around them (Rom 5:8; Eph 4:32). God forgave us even before we came back to Him asking sorry, and he saved us once we asked sorry to repent for our sins done against Him (Col 3:13; 2 Sam 12:13-14). Even the prophet Hosea who married a prostitute symbolically, representing how God's people Israel have been unfaithful to Him who is the true husband. And then as she still strays and goes away from Him after other men to whom she does not belong (Hos 1:2-3, 4, 6, 7, 9; 3:1-3; 5:15; 6:1; 14:1-2, 3-4, 4-5, 6-8, 9), God in His mercy still invites them to come back because of His unceasing love and He does insist them to repent and ask sorry, then return back to Him so that He will accept them in spite of their shortcomings and failures so that they could stay faithful to Him (Hosea 6:6). Even Christ who is called the bridegroom of the Church which is represented as bride, Christ loved us sacrificially and unconditionally to save sinners like us to become a part of His Glorious bride (Eph 5:25), at the same time with that same unconditional love and faithfulness He loves us and suffers with us to the end to actually save us all whom He had already chosen (John 10:27-29; 1 Peter 2:21, 22, 23; 2 Peter 3:15). Even when we are unfaithful to Him, He remains faithful to us in saving us to the end (2 Tim 2:13). God has told us to love our wife just the way Christ loved us and loves us, if we cannot forgive their shortcomings and even their infidelity when they come to us in repentance we no way represent Christ in any way (Col 3:13; Heb 7:25; 10:16-17, 18; Heb 12:2-3, 15). God hates all divorce because it is the innocent children who go through untold suffering in their lives for the sins their parents do (Mal 2:14, 15, 16-17), God wants reconciliation as much as possible to get back in to a family that he had made, unless it is impossible in certain grounds because of unrepentant spouse who keeps being adamant without even the slightest repentance for all the wrong done against one's partner in covenant, against their children, against God and others who are the extended families involved in their lives (Rom 12:18, 17, 19).
Obviously, when a person who does not have biblical grounds for divorce remarries, he or she is technically committing adultery.
The Law Of Moses Was Temporal Until Christ Would Come
Having clearly said about the law of remarriage and divorce, I also say that the Levitical and ceremonial law of Moses was made by God and was given temporarily to keep people from lawlessness, till Christ should come and give us a hope of drawing near to God through His High Priestly ministry in heaven (Heb 7:19; Gal 3:19). Now that we draw near to God who is in heaven directly from earth by faith through the blood of Jesus (Heb 10:22; 4:16), we cannot go back to the lower standard of the Law of Moses which was given only temporarily as it is a copy and shadow of the substance who is Christ (Col 2:17; Heb 8:5), faulty in certain aspects like in the area of marriage (Heb 8:7), the new covenant has made the old out of date and therefore is no longer valid, ready to vanish once the Millennium rule of Jesus comes in which Jesus will give all humans new directive to worship God (Mic 4:2; Isa 2:3; Rev 19:11, 14; 20:6), until then the law of Moses is to be used for nothing other than for reference and understanding of the shadow of Christ for deeper education and edification (Heb 8:13; Rom 15:4; 1 Cor 10:11; John 1:16-17; Philemon 1:25).
The Law of Moses regarding having more than one wife permits it because of the hardness of man's heart which had no chance at that time to get regenerated without the good news of Christ death and resurrection (1 Cor 15:1-2, 3-4), and therefore receive a heart of flesh instead of the natural fleshly heart of stone (Matt 19:8; Ezek 36:26; 11:19-20). But the law of Moses gave hope and clear instruction of the coming Messiah who will save them from the bondage of sin like himself who saved them from Egyptian bondage (Deut 18:15-22; Matt 1:21; Luke 1:68, 77). But we as Christians who are redeemed by Jesus and have been given knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of sins (Col 1:14; 2:13-14), being sealed by the Holy Spirit for the day of redemption and empowered by the Holy Spirit to walk in the perfect way of God (Eph 1:13-14; 2 Cor 1:22; Heb 10:15-17; Acts 1:8), we cannot look down below our potential in Christ because Jesus has said (Rom 8:37; 2 Cor 2:14; Php 4:13), to whom much is given much reward will be given back by God if he uses it to the maximum in obedience as much will be required of him by God, at the same time if he under uses and try to justify himself it will be unacceptable to God as he will chastise for him/her to repent or else they will lose all reward and, if he is a unbeliever he will be punished eternally and severely (Luke 12:43-44, 45-46, 47-48).
Here is what Jesus says about this issue of marriage in the light of Old Testament and New Testament with which we have discussed, "16 “The law and the prophets were until John. Since that time the kingdom of God has been preached, and everyone is pressing into it. 17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one tittle of the law to fail. 18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery." (Luke 16:16-18). In other words Jesus said, do not try to take the Old Testament Scripture out of context and try to mock God and justify yourself in regard to your moral failure within your marriage and other things like coveting and loving money, instead accept your failure and sinfulness before God and accept the gospel by which all the law has been fulfilled to receive perfect righteousness of God for all who believe (Luke 16:13, 14-15; Matt 23:14; Luke 18:13-14; Matt 5:17-18, 19, 20; Rom 4:5-6; 3:23, 21-22).
The Law of Moses permitted more than one wife because of hardness of heart and it is spoken in the Firstborn Inheritance Rights as follows, " 15 “If a man has two wives, one loved and the other unloved, and they have borne him children, both the loved and the unloved, and if the firstborn son is of her who is unloved, 16 then it shall be, on the day he bequeaths his possessions to his sons, that he must not bestow firstborn status on the son of the loved wife in preference to the son of the unloved, the true firstborn. 17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his." (Deut 21:15).
Also the Law of Moses permitted Female Captives of a war to be married to those soldiers who desired to marry them, in other words if the warriors find the captive women as beautiful and desire her and take her as his wife, let them marry her with some required guidelines and safety for the alien person (Deut 21:10-14).
The Original Will Of God In Creation Is One Wife For Life
Coming to answer you question which you have asked, yes in the Gospel of Matthew when Jesus says, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery,” (Matt 19:9) which implies that man not only can divorce her without any proper reason which we have seen above, but it also does clearly points that a man can have only one wife at a time and according to God's decree it is one wife for life. How do we know this, because Jesus reveals it by referring to creation time in which according to the original will of God he created one Adam for one Eve to institutionalize marriage under Him, with Himself presiding over it as the head and the conductor of it. God being the father and mother of Adam by creation, and Adam being the son of God (Luke 3:38), Adam left the Father of his life [i.e. God (Psa 68:5)] and was joined by God his Father to Eve who was taken out of Adam, so that God who joined two to become one flesh might bless their union as they keep the covenant of marriage made before God to remain by remaining faithful to the boundary between two to become one in union in God [Note: God did not join 1 Adam + 2 women to become 1 flesh].
So according to God two can become one in marriage and there cannot be any more than that to accommodate within that original will of God for marriage (Gen 2:24; Eph 5:31). A Christian cannot have two wife at the same time as it is adultery according to Jesus' own words in the New Testament. God says that whoever tries to separate the union of two which has become one in God, God will judge them whether it is done by some man or woman in lust, or by the father or mother or some friend who is close (Prov 18:24; 1 Cor 6:16, 18; Gen 2:24-25; Heb 13:4). In other words, whenever two person of opposite gender get together in sexual union in the eyes of God they become one flesh which is allowed according to Him only within the marriage commitment and covenant done before Him. One cannot marry another without one being divorced, or else not only the person who divorced commits adultery but also he or she who has divorced their partner also made the other to commit adultery. In other words when a man divorces a woman without proper reason, the divorced woman might remarry with another man outside of marriage covenant already existing in the sight of God, thus the ex-husband makes her a victim of adultery by having forced her out of marriage without a proper reason for justification before God (Rom 7:2; Mark 10:11-12; Matt 5:32; 1 Cor 7:2).
Paul specifies that a leader of the New Testament Church should be a man of one wife, in order to be an example to the Church so that all can follow their godly example (1 Tim 3:2; Titus 1:5-6; 1 Cor 11:1). A person with two wives cannot be a New Testament leader in the Church which is the basic standard set for them in the area of marriage.
From Adam to Birth of Jesus Christ the total period was little more or less to 4000 years, nowhere in this period God revealed by any law that man cannot have more than one wife, because humans were not given a new heart of flesh to have the ability to walk in the higher level of the law of God until Jesus came and revealed it saying, "You have heard that it was said [...] (murder v anger), You have heard that it was said [...] (adultery v lust), It was also said [...] (divorce), [...] Again you have heard that it was said [...] (oaths), You have heard that it was said [...] (an eye for an eye : Vengeance and Justice), You have heard that it was said [...] (hate/love your enemy), but for all these things of the Old Testament, He again overrides it all and says, "But I say to you, [...AND SET A VERY HIGH STANDARD OF LAW THAN PREVIOUSLY...which is perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect, so walk in it.]" (Matt 5:20, 22, 23-24, 28, 32, 34, 39, 44, 48), which clearly shows that Jesus Christ (the son of God) was not just speaking against the people who were divorcing their wives for any reason, but it was also against marrying more than one, in fact He was emphasizing that one wife for life is the perfect Heavenly Father's set path of God's will to fulfill for every human in this planet earth (Heb 11:39, 40; Rom 5:14; Matt 19:4-5, 6). The law of conscience stood from Adam to Moses (Rom 2:11, 14, 12), from Moses to Jesus Christ the Son of God the Law of Moses stood (Rom 2:13, 12) and finally from Jesus to our generation the grace of Jesus stands which is what God requires of us to receive, then walk and glorify Him (John 1:17; Heb 1:1-2; Titus 2:11-14, 15; Mic 6:8; John 6:28-29, 39-40; Rom 6:14). The original will of God is not mentioned implicitly but can be inferred from what Jesus explicitly said referring to the creation story in which God created Adam and Eve (Matt 19:4-5, 6; Gen 1:27; 2:7, 15-18, 20-25).
Why Abraham had three wives? We Christians are his descendant right?
As for Abraham specifically, aside from the affair with Hagar which he faltered hearing the voice of his wife who was influenced by the world around her instead of God which caused too much confusion within the family (Gen 16:1-2, 3-4, 5), nothing more can be pointed at him. But as God instructed Abraham to again hear and heed Sarah this time to send her maid Hagar the Egyptian and her son away, he obeyed God but was heart broken (Gen 21:8-14), in that broken state of heart he stayed married to one wife (Sarah) until she passed (Gen 23:1, 2-20), after which he married Keturah and had children with her (Gen 25:1-6). From this we see that Abraham the Father of our faith did value the original will of God to stay in a monogamous relationship of one spouse at a time all the days of his life except when he made a mistake of hearing his wife's advice without consulting God but rather assuming it might be God's will in which he unfortunately failed by mistake and the weakness of the flesh (Rom 4:11-12, 16, 24; Gal 3:7, 13-14, 29). God has shown the weakness of Abraham not to follow him, but rather avoid it by learning the lesson that only a monogamous relationship can be the one and only will of God for humankind, and that polygamy is against that will of God and will therefore cause confusion within the family life (1 Thess 5:21-22; 1 Cor 10:11; Rom 15:4). Having two wives at the same time caused a lot of confusion and hatred within the family life of Elkanah (1 Samuel 1:1-2, 4-5, 6-7, 8, 10).
There were specific instructions for the king of Israel to not acquire many wives for himself (Deut 17:14-17), since that could have the effect of turning his heart away from the Lord and thus not keep his commandments and please him (Psa 119:162; Eccl 12:13). David and Solomon knew that this was forbidden but because of the hardness of their unregenerate heart (Prov 25:2; Psa 51:5), they budged in to their temporal pleasures of sin for which David who did in a small way got so much confusion within his own family, and Solomon his son continued in his sinful legacy to marry hundreds of wives finally to turn away completely from the Lord to serve pagan gods which God hated (1 Kings 11:1-2, 3-4, 9-11). David had Michal (2 Samuel 6:14–22), Abigail (1 Sam 25:37), Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:1–17) who was another man Uriah the Hittite a trusted soldier's wife taken illegally through murder, and thus brought upon his family the curse of God that the sword shall never depart from his house because he has despised the Lord, and by this deed have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme (2 Sam 12:10, 14-15). The other five named wives of David were Ahinoam, Maacah, Haggith, Abital, and Eglah (2 Samuel 3:2–5; 1 Chronicles 3:1–3). According to 2 Samuel 5:13, David married more wives in Jerusalem, but how many is unknown.
These above weaknesses of God's men are shown not to follow their bad examples, but to follow their faith in God and the exploits they did with their faith. And another thing we should take in to consideration is, because they were not saved and regenerated with a new heart in the Old Testament but rather waited for Christ to come and take them to heaven from Sheol the place of departed spirits, they did not have the power over sin like all Christians do (Rom 6:14). In other words, the Holy Spirit of God came upon them because of their faith to do great works now and then, but he was not in them as He is in all the Christians to teach them the way of God to walk in the will of God, and also give them the strength to keep it and be with them always and encourage them to walk in it always (John 14:17, 26; 15:26-27; 16:7, 13; Acts 1:8; 10:44-45, 46-47, 48; 11:16-17). What did we see just before? Jesus has clearly said, " 47 And that servant who knew his master’s will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more." (Luke 12:47-48). So let us be careful to walk in the will of God and please God always in all things (Rom 12:1; 2 Cor 5:9; Col 1:10; 1 Thess 4:1). GLORY TO GOD!
How Can We Deal Two Wives Married Before Coming To Christ?
Brother, I understand your dilemma, if you had married another wife after you had come to Christian faith, you have to face the consequence of it in reaping through confusion and more confusion until the sin will find you out (Num 32:23; Gal 6:7-8). But because you have married your second wife before you came to accept the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you did in ignorance of the will of God (Rom 10:13), so now you have received the mercy of the Lord (1 Tim 1:13). Now God wants you to walk in wisdom and in the will of God which is to be filled with the Spirit, praising Him always and thanking Him for His mercy and grace, singing songs to the Lord out of your heart, submitting to one another which includes your first wife (Eph 5:17-18, 19-20, 21). If like to Abraham your wife says and feels that you need to send the second wife away, ask the Lord for confirmation like Abraham and do it if the Lord will's, even though it might be personally displeasing to you because of the mistakes of your past and emotional attachment to the second wife and her children (Gen 21:8-10), but support her monetarily to keep the family afloat because it was your mistake or in other words your ignorance of the perfect will of God that brought this whole issue in to existence (Gen 21:20-21). I believe that is what you have already done now. If not also, do as the Lord says who now speaks directly in to your heart from heaven (Heb 12:22, 25, 28-29). The Lord understands your situation very well, he will speak to you specifically regarding this final issue (Matt 22:32; 1 John 2:20, 27), according to Paul if she your second wife as equal to a widow seeks to stay by your financial support do not send her away from your support even though she might be a believer or unbeliever, kind of applies in this area also mildly if not directly (1 Cor 7:12-13; 1 Tim 5:16). Second wife they always called as concubine, mistress and equal to the privilege of a widow in their rights. A widow can also be a woman often left alone for the husband to take care of some other sports, hobby or family.
I finally come to a strong conclusion, that though you did marry the second wife along with your first wife in ignorance before coming to the Lord, if you want perfect satisfaction in Christian life, you should stop doing what you have been doing in your past life which you have done before coming to the Lord (Eph 4:28). So take care of your first wife and stay with her in monogamous relationship according to the perfect will of God (1 Tim 5:8), at the same time as I told earlier support the second wife and her children to take care of them financially supporting them with their need so that they can independently carry on in their lives (1 Tim 5:3-4, 5-6, 7). Especially people who turn to Christ from Muslim background have this kind of problem in their lives, where previously according to their financial ability they were left to themselves to take their own choice to have in marriage even up to four wives. Even when you want to support financially, if your second wife wants to remarry knowing that you are going to stay monogamous in relationship with your first wife, let her freely take her choice if you really want to be in the perfect will of God (1 Cor 7:15-16). But again, if she wants to stay receiving just the financial support from you, please do continue to support her financially and help her to independently live by faith and trust in God and also help her become financially independent to carry on in life for the Glory of God (1 Tim 5:16).
Much Blessings......
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