Is Divorce A Condemnation Or Consequence For Marital Infidelity?
Question: Having read the following post, "My Unfaithful Wife, Should I Divorce Or Should I Keep Forgiving?" I believe, divorcing her is not condemning her. Divorce is consequence to her unrepentant adultery. Divorce is separating yourself from evil. How can two walk together, except they agree? You can be divorced, and still pray for that one, still be forgiving in your heart; and if/when there is genuine repentance and desire for reconciliation, your heart is already there. She has a will of her own. God's Holy Spirit will let you know if she returns or not, if you should retain hope of reconciliation or not. Each scenario is different. What is your thought regarding this?
Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name! I know that divorce is not condemning the wife but even if it is taken as a consequence to her unrepentant life, still God hates divorce because the children who are the closest thing to heaven get affected in their lives because of it. God hates divorce, as it covers our garments with violence even when it is not treacherous (Mal 2:16). So we must take heed to our spirit, in to which the Spirit of God speaks and guides us individually, so as God is so much more concerned about the lives of our children to raise them up as godly ones, we must give heed to the voice of the Holy Spirit in this matter individually (Mal 2:15). I know it is hard for two to walk together, except they agree (Amos 3:3), but this is mainly spoken to the covenant relationship between God and man in its context, and also within believers life if they do not agree on the basics of faith and be a disciple of the Lord, then it is hard to walk together.
For example, If someone has married a unbeliever against the very basic will of God or before they came to faith in the Lord Jesus (2 Cor 6:14-18), then there is no other way except to consent to divorce if the other unbeliever want to leave the believer because of their practicing faith, then in peace we are instructed to let them leave as we cannot force them our faith against their will (1 Cor 7:15-16). Even then, if they are willing to live with us who is a believer, then we are told to not send them away as God by His grace and mercies is able to sanctify both the unbelieving spouse and the child when we continue to walk as an example of living Christ's life before them in sincerity and honesty and continue to pray for their salvation (1 Cor 7:12-13, 14; 1 Peter 3:1-2, 7; Matt 21:21-22; Luke 18:27; 1:37). Still at large naturally, we can only pray and try to share our faith with the unbelieving spouse, but we do not know for sure, whether they will turn to the Lord or not. But the Lord who know the end from the beginning, He can help us in such situation and matter if we continue to seek Him to show us the right way in our life as He has promised that He is the way (1 Cor 7:16; John 14:6). If our spouse is a believer and have run away from us, then he or she is told by the Lord to stay unmarried or come and get unified again with the believing spouse they have run away from (1 Cor 7:10-11). Only in the case of adultery, there is a right for the believing spouse to divorce according to the law, but if we really come to know the mercies and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ in forgiving all our daily sins (Heb 10:17; 1 John 1:7, 9; 1 Peter 2:2-3), we in the Spirit of Christ, should likewise forgive them and give them time to repent and come to Christ for deliverance from such spirit of adultery (Matt 19:9; Eph 4:32).
Unrepentant adultery has serious consequence for a believer who continues in the spirit of harlotry (Hos 4:12; James 4:4-6). He or she will soon face severe chastening of the Lord which if resisted may even lead to physical or unexpected death (Heb 13:4-6; 12:5, 6, 7-8, 9, 10-11; 1 Cor 11:27-28, 29-30, 31). So can we deal with a spouse in the way God wants to deal with His unfaithful betrothed spouse or virgin (i.e.) we the Church? It all depends on whether we want to walk by the law of Moses or the Spirit of grace of our Lord Jesus Christ with which we started to walk in Christ through our salvation (John 1:16-17; Rom 8:6, 2, 5; Gal 3:3). Make sure you walk in the Spirit of Christ till the end as you began, because the law will only bring death in the end, but grace of the Spirit will bring life and peace and possible marital solution for the Glory of God (2 Cor 3:8-9, 17). Vengeance is not ours to take against our spouse when dealing in grace or even through the Law, but rather it belong to the Lord who will judge and justify rightly in His time, space and matter (Rom 12:19; 3:26; Deut 32:35). By the Spirit of grace (Zech 12:10), God will fulfill His purpose for our lives when we trust Him and give Him time to act (Psa 27:14; 119:126; 102:13), and wait for Him to act (Isa 64:4), the Spirit of Glory will rest upon us even if we face persecution because of our meekness to obey the Word of the Lord at all personal cost (1 Peter 4:14; 2;21, 22, 23). What a glory, Glory! What was the reward Jesus got? Jesus got eternal reward of being seated at the right hand of God for such humility and meekness, so that today and forevermore "every knee should bow" in all the universe (Php 2:5-8, 9, 10-11). Are you ready for eternal reigning with Jesus through your suffering for righteousness (2 Tim 2:12)? The reward is not temporal, but eternal rulership like Jesus and with Him (Rev 2:10, 26; 3:21)!
Yes, I believe that if a spouse is a believer and is saved, then the Spirit of God will definitely without fail will lead him or her back to conviction of sin (John 16:8-11), and as a result will make her/him to repent and come back to the spouse whom God has given to them by His own hand and covenant (Gen 2:22; Mal 2:14). It is good and normal to expect a spouse to come back if such spouse is saved, and that we have married him/her according to the basic good level of the will of God according to the revealed Word of God (Rom 12:2; 2 Cor 6:14-18). But if not, we cannot be sure that even if we adjust and want to win the unsaved spouse, whether they will really get saved or not in the end, but God who is the God of peace and not confusion has the ability to reveal even that to our heart as we seek Him regarding those things with all our heart and soul, and also take the counsel of godly messengers of God in our lives (Jer 33:3; Isa 44:26; 45:19; Prov 11:14; Dan 2:47). Only our God the one true Creator knows "the end from the beginning", and He is able to reveal to us the hidden things of our life, that is, whether someone is a believer or unbeliever, even those who want to leave us as a unbeliever will return back to us or never will ever (Isa 46:10). Yes Indeed, I agree with you that each Scenario is different and therefore we need the wisdom of God, to know supernaturally that which we can expect a change from that which will not change at all. May our prayer to God always be regarding our marital ordeals mainly, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can through prayer, faith and perseverance, and the wisdom to know the difference."
The vehicle of revelation regarding how our future will fall in to place will usually come from God through visions or dreams in the New Testament as God has promised to pour out His Spirit upon all his children. But it can also come through prophecy, or through the Word of God quickened in our heart, or through the voice of the Spirit within us, or through situations sometimes, etc.... (Acts 2:17-18). God can reveal through the way He wants, the time He wants and through whom He wants. Always seek the Lord and be open to hear from Him about your future (John 16:13). But whatever the Scenario before us we individually face in our life and circumstances, Jesus has already overcome the world and therefore we should be cheerful in faith and know that even if something happens against what we thought will happen, let us keep calm and maintain peace in our heart (John 14:27; 16:33), because whatever happens can only happen because God has already thought about our situation and wants it all to happen like it is, for our own eternal good that will stay with us for eternity ahead (Rom 8:28). Always for a righteous person, the end is victory ahead, because the Lord is able to work through our mess we have created in our married life, and is able to turn it all in to something good for us eternally (Jam 5:10-11; Rom 8:28).
Never feel that your case is impossible for the Lord to work, know that the things which are impossible with men, may be through the legal court of justice which you were taken to task unlawfully or may be even the Church elders who cannot solve it because of stubbornness on the part of the believing spouse who does not want to cooperate with them for bringing a right solution, if you cooperate with God by adhering in faith to the Word of God, God is able to work it through and bring a expected end (Jer 29:11-13, KJV). So divorce doesn't have to be neither condemnation nor a consequence for marital infidelity as "now there is no more condemnation in Christ Jesus" for those who live according to the Spirit (Rom 8:1). Let us expect a change and a shout of victory in our spouses, and let us come to understand that our faith is our victory (1 John 5:4). Let us pray for one another and forgive one another just as Christ has done for us. If our spouse is a unbeliever and their behavior is continually evil or deceptive, let us pray for them and expect a change to be wrought by the Lord if they want to stay and continue with us willingly, or let them go in peace (Matt 5:38-42, 43-48; Rom 12:19-21; 1 Cor 7:12-13, 15). Our Lord desires even those evil unbelieving spouse to get saved through our life of faith and prayer (1 Tim 2:3-4, 1-2), but stay peaceful as much as you can with the unbelieving spouse, but if they are demanding a divorce and you feel it is impossible to be at peace with them, then divorce them according to their will and wishes as you need not be in such a case of bondage against the faith you practice (Rom 12:18).
God bless you!
Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name! I know that divorce is not condemning the wife but even if it is taken as a consequence to her unrepentant life, still God hates divorce because the children who are the closest thing to heaven get affected in their lives because of it. God hates divorce, as it covers our garments with violence even when it is not treacherous (Mal 2:16). So we must take heed to our spirit, in to which the Spirit of God speaks and guides us individually, so as God is so much more concerned about the lives of our children to raise them up as godly ones, we must give heed to the voice of the Holy Spirit in this matter individually (Mal 2:15). I know it is hard for two to walk together, except they agree (Amos 3:3), but this is mainly spoken to the covenant relationship between God and man in its context, and also within believers life if they do not agree on the basics of faith and be a disciple of the Lord, then it is hard to walk together.
For example, If someone has married a unbeliever against the very basic will of God or before they came to faith in the Lord Jesus (2 Cor 6:14-18), then there is no other way except to consent to divorce if the other unbeliever want to leave the believer because of their practicing faith, then in peace we are instructed to let them leave as we cannot force them our faith against their will (1 Cor 7:15-16). Even then, if they are willing to live with us who is a believer, then we are told to not send them away as God by His grace and mercies is able to sanctify both the unbelieving spouse and the child when we continue to walk as an example of living Christ's life before them in sincerity and honesty and continue to pray for their salvation (1 Cor 7:12-13, 14; 1 Peter 3:1-2, 7; Matt 21:21-22; Luke 18:27; 1:37). Still at large naturally, we can only pray and try to share our faith with the unbelieving spouse, but we do not know for sure, whether they will turn to the Lord or not. But the Lord who know the end from the beginning, He can help us in such situation and matter if we continue to seek Him to show us the right way in our life as He has promised that He is the way (1 Cor 7:16; John 14:6). If our spouse is a believer and have run away from us, then he or she is told by the Lord to stay unmarried or come and get unified again with the believing spouse they have run away from (1 Cor 7:10-11). Only in the case of adultery, there is a right for the believing spouse to divorce according to the law, but if we really come to know the mercies and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ in forgiving all our daily sins (Heb 10:17; 1 John 1:7, 9; 1 Peter 2:2-3), we in the Spirit of Christ, should likewise forgive them and give them time to repent and come to Christ for deliverance from such spirit of adultery (Matt 19:9; Eph 4:32).
Unrepentant adultery has serious consequence for a believer who continues in the spirit of harlotry (Hos 4:12; James 4:4-6). He or she will soon face severe chastening of the Lord which if resisted may even lead to physical or unexpected death (Heb 13:4-6; 12:5, 6, 7-8, 9, 10-11; 1 Cor 11:27-28, 29-30, 31). So can we deal with a spouse in the way God wants to deal with His unfaithful betrothed spouse or virgin (i.e.) we the Church? It all depends on whether we want to walk by the law of Moses or the Spirit of grace of our Lord Jesus Christ with which we started to walk in Christ through our salvation (John 1:16-17; Rom 8:6, 2, 5; Gal 3:3). Make sure you walk in the Spirit of Christ till the end as you began, because the law will only bring death in the end, but grace of the Spirit will bring life and peace and possible marital solution for the Glory of God (2 Cor 3:8-9, 17). Vengeance is not ours to take against our spouse when dealing in grace or even through the Law, but rather it belong to the Lord who will judge and justify rightly in His time, space and matter (Rom 12:19; 3:26; Deut 32:35). By the Spirit of grace (Zech 12:10), God will fulfill His purpose for our lives when we trust Him and give Him time to act (Psa 27:14; 119:126; 102:13), and wait for Him to act (Isa 64:4), the Spirit of Glory will rest upon us even if we face persecution because of our meekness to obey the Word of the Lord at all personal cost (1 Peter 4:14; 2;21, 22, 23). What a glory, Glory! What was the reward Jesus got? Jesus got eternal reward of being seated at the right hand of God for such humility and meekness, so that today and forevermore "every knee should bow" in all the universe (Php 2:5-8, 9, 10-11). Are you ready for eternal reigning with Jesus through your suffering for righteousness (2 Tim 2:12)? The reward is not temporal, but eternal rulership like Jesus and with Him (Rev 2:10, 26; 3:21)!
Yes, I believe that if a spouse is a believer and is saved, then the Spirit of God will definitely without fail will lead him or her back to conviction of sin (John 16:8-11), and as a result will make her/him to repent and come back to the spouse whom God has given to them by His own hand and covenant (Gen 2:22; Mal 2:14). It is good and normal to expect a spouse to come back if such spouse is saved, and that we have married him/her according to the basic good level of the will of God according to the revealed Word of God (Rom 12:2; 2 Cor 6:14-18). But if not, we cannot be sure that even if we adjust and want to win the unsaved spouse, whether they will really get saved or not in the end, but God who is the God of peace and not confusion has the ability to reveal even that to our heart as we seek Him regarding those things with all our heart and soul, and also take the counsel of godly messengers of God in our lives (Jer 33:3; Isa 44:26; 45:19; Prov 11:14; Dan 2:47). Only our God the one true Creator knows "the end from the beginning", and He is able to reveal to us the hidden things of our life, that is, whether someone is a believer or unbeliever, even those who want to leave us as a unbeliever will return back to us or never will ever (Isa 46:10). Yes Indeed, I agree with you that each Scenario is different and therefore we need the wisdom of God, to know supernaturally that which we can expect a change from that which will not change at all. May our prayer to God always be regarding our marital ordeals mainly, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can through prayer, faith and perseverance, and the wisdom to know the difference."
The vehicle of revelation regarding how our future will fall in to place will usually come from God through visions or dreams in the New Testament as God has promised to pour out His Spirit upon all his children. But it can also come through prophecy, or through the Word of God quickened in our heart, or through the voice of the Spirit within us, or through situations sometimes, etc.... (Acts 2:17-18). God can reveal through the way He wants, the time He wants and through whom He wants. Always seek the Lord and be open to hear from Him about your future (John 16:13). But whatever the Scenario before us we individually face in our life and circumstances, Jesus has already overcome the world and therefore we should be cheerful in faith and know that even if something happens against what we thought will happen, let us keep calm and maintain peace in our heart (John 14:27; 16:33), because whatever happens can only happen because God has already thought about our situation and wants it all to happen like it is, for our own eternal good that will stay with us for eternity ahead (Rom 8:28). Always for a righteous person, the end is victory ahead, because the Lord is able to work through our mess we have created in our married life, and is able to turn it all in to something good for us eternally (Jam 5:10-11; Rom 8:28).
Never feel that your case is impossible for the Lord to work, know that the things which are impossible with men, may be through the legal court of justice which you were taken to task unlawfully or may be even the Church elders who cannot solve it because of stubbornness on the part of the believing spouse who does not want to cooperate with them for bringing a right solution, if you cooperate with God by adhering in faith to the Word of God, God is able to work it through and bring a expected end (Jer 29:11-13, KJV). So divorce doesn't have to be neither condemnation nor a consequence for marital infidelity as "now there is no more condemnation in Christ Jesus" for those who live according to the Spirit (Rom 8:1). Let us expect a change and a shout of victory in our spouses, and let us come to understand that our faith is our victory (1 John 5:4). Let us pray for one another and forgive one another just as Christ has done for us. If our spouse is a unbeliever and their behavior is continually evil or deceptive, let us pray for them and expect a change to be wrought by the Lord if they want to stay and continue with us willingly, or let them go in peace (Matt 5:38-42, 43-48; Rom 12:19-21; 1 Cor 7:12-13, 15). Our Lord desires even those evil unbelieving spouse to get saved through our life of faith and prayer (1 Tim 2:3-4, 1-2), but stay peaceful as much as you can with the unbelieving spouse, but if they are demanding a divorce and you feel it is impossible to be at peace with them, then divorce them according to their will and wishes as you need not be in such a case of bondage against the faith you practice (Rom 12:18).
God bless you!
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