Is Marriage Still Holy When Neither Is A Virgin?
Question: Is marriage still holy when neither is a virgin? I as a child of God have time and again lived a life that has not been pleasing to Him in my youthful age, now that I know who I have been, I want to know how I can look forward to live a life of holiness in marriage after having failed Him consistently. Thank you. Will I Only Reap The Unholy Failures Of My Past Life By The Law Of Sowing And Reaping That Fulfills God's Justice For All Humans, Or This Happens Only For Unbelievers And Not To Believers? Looking for an answer from you.
Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name!
Christian marriage should be pursued in holiness, which means you keep yourself from defiling yourself with the opposite sex until the day of marriage and give yourself wholly to the other Christian partner, and in the same way it is expected of the other person. This is the perfect will of God. But because of fallen world and sinful nature within humans, many Christians due to giving in to the lure of temptations, get conformed to the world standard of living rather than be transformed by renewing their mind through the Word of God and applying it through the Spirit of God who consistently helps a Christian to live a overcoming life (Rom 12:2).
So certain Christians continue to live just like the world and give up the hope of getting conformed to "the image of His Son" (Rom 8:29), which makes them suffer in their spiritual life where they start to stumble down from standing in the steadfast faith that they have been given by God and get shipwrecked (1 Tim 1:19).
God doesn't save one day and throw a child of God another day just because they did not get conformed to his Word of God which is the instruction manual to live a abundant life of heaven on earth (John 10:10). God is never surprised when we fail because in spite of us being his enemy who were in sin, still Christ loved us and chose to die for us, and thus saved us who believed Him apart from our behavior (Rom 5:8). So we are a sin affected and defective product which He has purchased by giving His own life, not to try to change our behavior by putting us in to prison of rules to keep, but rather He has made a new way of living possible by infusing His very own life in to us and making us a new creature, so that this new man could grown and come to have dominion over the old nature of sin (Heb 10:20; 2 Cor 5:17). God understands our youthful sins, but altogether He forgives and wants us to repent of it to live and lead a holy married life (Psa 25:7).
Apostle Paul rightly said to believers reminding them of the present and how the past of their lives are erased already by God, "9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Cor 6:9-11). All the above mentioned sin like fornication, idolatry, adultery, homosexuality, practicing Anal Sex, robbery, coveting, drinking, bad mouthing, practicing violence for material gain and sins like these were some of the sins we were involved in habitually before we got saved, now that God washed us in the blood of Jesus that he cannot see a single sin through it, He has separated us for Himself to make us grow in the Word of God and be filled with the Spirit of God that He wants us to trust Him no matter what, and is further seeing us as if we have never sinned at all in our lives through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior by the quickening power of the Spirit of God who brought us in to the experience of salvation (Tit 3:5-6). Now God wants us to see these sins as our past lifestyle and not our present desire because of salvation which has freed us from it all and given us a new desire and purpose, and therefore our new desire for holiness which has come as a free gift of God must be sincerely pursued by depending on the grace of God which empowers us daily to be a over comer over sin, Satan and self (Php 2:12-13).
Therefore, you can look forward to live a life of holiness in marriage after having failed Him consistently before it because of failing to practice the faith which you have held without exercising it for positive growth and blessings. But now that you are being convicted by God, you must confess your sins to God and also to the spiritual overseer over your life so that they can pray and guide you in to holy matrimony (Jam 5:15-16).
Remember, unless we repent and confess for our past sins sincerely to the Lord and to the over seer who helps us (Heb 13:4, 7, 17; 1 Thes 5:12-13), sin will try its best to have dominion over our lives. We confess sins to God for forgiveness, and we confess to one another and to over-seers to get assurance that we are forgiven, and for acceptance of our true self by rejecting of old self exhibited for oversight in order to prevent repetitive sins and to prevent ourselves from besetting sins. Thus if we return to faith to practice it in our lives, sin will not have dominion over us because we will experience the grace of God and not the condemnation of the law which we usually live with otherwise (Rom 6:14).
God is not mocked when we sin after we come to know the truth about the evil effect of any sin to our spiritual lives, and still love it because of its influence and fleshly satisfaction that lures us again and again in to it (Gal 6:7a). Passing pleasures of sin must be rejected by us from our heart and the reproach of Christ must be embraced, thus suffering affliction with the people of God, esteeming the temporal treasure of this world as nothing more than a passing fad and seeing the eternal treasure of God's reward as our motivation to live a godly life of over coming faith to please God (Heb 11:24-26). If we continue in a pet sin not exposing it, exposure of our sin is certain after a period of time (Num 32:23), there are exponential consequences (Hos 8:7) and delaying to forsake the sin will only make it worse (Prov 28:13-14). Even though through the death of Jesus the spiritual consequence of all our sins have been dealt with a death blow to be thrown away from God's sight (Heb 10:17-18), yet now as a just God and Father He chastises and serves His justice now to produce holiness which will make us rejoice for eternity then (Heb 10:26-31; 12:10-11, 14-15; 1 Pet 4:17), which again teaches us that God's forgiveness in a life of a believer does not automatically erase the consequences of our actions we do in our life, yet God gives us the power to change our actions through sincere repentance, confession and forsaking of sins, which makes us alter our life by allowing us to reap good things now in this life by changing the bad habit of sowing of fleshly and sinful things to the self (Gal 6:7b, 8). In short, if we choose to sin willfully, we choose to suffer. If we forsake our momentary satisfaction, and let God to rule over our lives by dying to fleshly momentary fulfillment by denying it, we are heading towards eternal excellence and satisfaction. So we cannot continue in the same sin and expect a different and a blessed result for it in our lives. God cannot bless sin, because it destroys His people, and is against His holy nature and therefore no matter how long we have been a Christian, God loves us but hates the sin that we are involved in. Therefore any sin in a believers life is a distraction from Satan to prevent the believer from enlightenment to keep them stagnated in to a spiritual lull, so that they might lose their mission, lose their loyalty to God, lose their common sense, lose their fear of God, lose God's favor (Jud 16:4-6, 7-9, 10-12, 13-14, 15-20). Godly repentance leads us to living a salvation life without regret, because we are more concerned about how our sins affect God rather than it affects us, worldly repentance is trying to stop the sinful behavior because it affects us physically from living a good and happy life, it leads us only to death (2 Cor 7:10). Godly sorrow is making a plan to renounce rationalization, avoid temptation and then look forward to overcoming over all sinful habits without compromising God's righteousness which comes by faith through the grace of God (Eph 2:8; Gal 3:3-4). Sexual sins should never be rationalized by saying, I deserve this pleasure, my one weakness that I can never overcome, I think this is the thorn in the flesh that God has allowed, I can handle this without allowing it to blow out in my life (Pride), no one will know this sin and it does not directly affect or hurt anyone else, my situation causes me to sin because I have a wife or husband who is not sexually satisfying and God understand's that as He is the one who had given him or her to me (self-pity), etc... Sexual sin is contrary to God's plan, as God ordained marriage can only make love happen and fulfill God's will for us.
Satan want you to think as failure by making you think, what do I do when I know something is wrong and yet I do it anyway, o it is not in my hand to see victory? Apostle Paul had such situations in his life where he thought that he too was a failure because of besetting sins (Rom 7:13-24)? But thank God because of godly sorrow in the life of apostle Paul, he experienced victory by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ at the end of all the frustration and hopelessness which sin caused in his life (Rom 7:25). In short, God graciously grants repentance when we humbly correct ourselves when we are chastised by God (2 Tim 2:25-26). God's grace will advance God's purposes in you, to help you to be a over-comer and keep the marriage healthy and strong by denying your old life of sin to ever influence your new married life of holiness which will always please God to keep you in His favor and bless you abundantly with all the blessings of heaven to make you a godly testimony to people around you.
God is not concerned about our past, because through the blood of Jesus, to God it does not exist. But rather He is concerned how we live in the present in His righteousness, how we turn from sin now to live in victory through seeking the Lord (Ezek 18:19, 20-32). Seeking God daily and fervently is the furnace that fuels the fire of God to burn all sexual sins to purify ourselves from it all. So a Christian marriage can be holy, even when both the husband or wife had not been virgins before they came together in marriage. What God is concerned is now, how we live now!
Much Blessings....
Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name!
Christian marriage should be pursued in holiness, which means you keep yourself from defiling yourself with the opposite sex until the day of marriage and give yourself wholly to the other Christian partner, and in the same way it is expected of the other person. This is the perfect will of God. But because of fallen world and sinful nature within humans, many Christians due to giving in to the lure of temptations, get conformed to the world standard of living rather than be transformed by renewing their mind through the Word of God and applying it through the Spirit of God who consistently helps a Christian to live a overcoming life (Rom 12:2).
So certain Christians continue to live just like the world and give up the hope of getting conformed to "the image of His Son" (Rom 8:29), which makes them suffer in their spiritual life where they start to stumble down from standing in the steadfast faith that they have been given by God and get shipwrecked (1 Tim 1:19).
God doesn't save one day and throw a child of God another day just because they did not get conformed to his Word of God which is the instruction manual to live a abundant life of heaven on earth (John 10:10). God is never surprised when we fail because in spite of us being his enemy who were in sin, still Christ loved us and chose to die for us, and thus saved us who believed Him apart from our behavior (Rom 5:8). So we are a sin affected and defective product which He has purchased by giving His own life, not to try to change our behavior by putting us in to prison of rules to keep, but rather He has made a new way of living possible by infusing His very own life in to us and making us a new creature, so that this new man could grown and come to have dominion over the old nature of sin (Heb 10:20; 2 Cor 5:17). God understands our youthful sins, but altogether He forgives and wants us to repent of it to live and lead a holy married life (Psa 25:7).
Apostle Paul rightly said to believers reminding them of the present and how the past of their lives are erased already by God, "9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Cor 6:9-11). All the above mentioned sin like fornication, idolatry, adultery, homosexuality, practicing Anal Sex, robbery, coveting, drinking, bad mouthing, practicing violence for material gain and sins like these were some of the sins we were involved in habitually before we got saved, now that God washed us in the blood of Jesus that he cannot see a single sin through it, He has separated us for Himself to make us grow in the Word of God and be filled with the Spirit of God that He wants us to trust Him no matter what, and is further seeing us as if we have never sinned at all in our lives through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior by the quickening power of the Spirit of God who brought us in to the experience of salvation (Tit 3:5-6). Now God wants us to see these sins as our past lifestyle and not our present desire because of salvation which has freed us from it all and given us a new desire and purpose, and therefore our new desire for holiness which has come as a free gift of God must be sincerely pursued by depending on the grace of God which empowers us daily to be a over comer over sin, Satan and self (Php 2:12-13).
Therefore, you can look forward to live a life of holiness in marriage after having failed Him consistently before it because of failing to practice the faith which you have held without exercising it for positive growth and blessings. But now that you are being convicted by God, you must confess your sins to God and also to the spiritual overseer over your life so that they can pray and guide you in to holy matrimony (Jam 5:15-16).
Remember, unless we repent and confess for our past sins sincerely to the Lord and to the over seer who helps us (Heb 13:4, 7, 17; 1 Thes 5:12-13), sin will try its best to have dominion over our lives. We confess sins to God for forgiveness, and we confess to one another and to over-seers to get assurance that we are forgiven, and for acceptance of our true self by rejecting of old self exhibited for oversight in order to prevent repetitive sins and to prevent ourselves from besetting sins. Thus if we return to faith to practice it in our lives, sin will not have dominion over us because we will experience the grace of God and not the condemnation of the law which we usually live with otherwise (Rom 6:14).
God is not mocked when we sin after we come to know the truth about the evil effect of any sin to our spiritual lives, and still love it because of its influence and fleshly satisfaction that lures us again and again in to it (Gal 6:7a). Passing pleasures of sin must be rejected by us from our heart and the reproach of Christ must be embraced, thus suffering affliction with the people of God, esteeming the temporal treasure of this world as nothing more than a passing fad and seeing the eternal treasure of God's reward as our motivation to live a godly life of over coming faith to please God (Heb 11:24-26). If we continue in a pet sin not exposing it, exposure of our sin is certain after a period of time (Num 32:23), there are exponential consequences (Hos 8:7) and delaying to forsake the sin will only make it worse (Prov 28:13-14). Even though through the death of Jesus the spiritual consequence of all our sins have been dealt with a death blow to be thrown away from God's sight (Heb 10:17-18), yet now as a just God and Father He chastises and serves His justice now to produce holiness which will make us rejoice for eternity then (Heb 10:26-31; 12:10-11, 14-15; 1 Pet 4:17), which again teaches us that God's forgiveness in a life of a believer does not automatically erase the consequences of our actions we do in our life, yet God gives us the power to change our actions through sincere repentance, confession and forsaking of sins, which makes us alter our life by allowing us to reap good things now in this life by changing the bad habit of sowing of fleshly and sinful things to the self (Gal 6:7b, 8). In short, if we choose to sin willfully, we choose to suffer. If we forsake our momentary satisfaction, and let God to rule over our lives by dying to fleshly momentary fulfillment by denying it, we are heading towards eternal excellence and satisfaction. So we cannot continue in the same sin and expect a different and a blessed result for it in our lives. God cannot bless sin, because it destroys His people, and is against His holy nature and therefore no matter how long we have been a Christian, God loves us but hates the sin that we are involved in. Therefore any sin in a believers life is a distraction from Satan to prevent the believer from enlightenment to keep them stagnated in to a spiritual lull, so that they might lose their mission, lose their loyalty to God, lose their common sense, lose their fear of God, lose God's favor (Jud 16:4-6, 7-9, 10-12, 13-14, 15-20). Godly repentance leads us to living a salvation life without regret, because we are more concerned about how our sins affect God rather than it affects us, worldly repentance is trying to stop the sinful behavior because it affects us physically from living a good and happy life, it leads us only to death (2 Cor 7:10). Godly sorrow is making a plan to renounce rationalization, avoid temptation and then look forward to overcoming over all sinful habits without compromising God's righteousness which comes by faith through the grace of God (Eph 2:8; Gal 3:3-4). Sexual sins should never be rationalized by saying, I deserve this pleasure, my one weakness that I can never overcome, I think this is the thorn in the flesh that God has allowed, I can handle this without allowing it to blow out in my life (Pride), no one will know this sin and it does not directly affect or hurt anyone else, my situation causes me to sin because I have a wife or husband who is not sexually satisfying and God understand's that as He is the one who had given him or her to me (self-pity), etc... Sexual sin is contrary to God's plan, as God ordained marriage can only make love happen and fulfill God's will for us.
Satan want you to think as failure by making you think, what do I do when I know something is wrong and yet I do it anyway, o it is not in my hand to see victory? Apostle Paul had such situations in his life where he thought that he too was a failure because of besetting sins (Rom 7:13-24)? But thank God because of godly sorrow in the life of apostle Paul, he experienced victory by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ at the end of all the frustration and hopelessness which sin caused in his life (Rom 7:25). In short, God graciously grants repentance when we humbly correct ourselves when we are chastised by God (2 Tim 2:25-26). God's grace will advance God's purposes in you, to help you to be a over-comer and keep the marriage healthy and strong by denying your old life of sin to ever influence your new married life of holiness which will always please God to keep you in His favor and bless you abundantly with all the blessings of heaven to make you a godly testimony to people around you.
God is not concerned about our past, because through the blood of Jesus, to God it does not exist. But rather He is concerned how we live in the present in His righteousness, how we turn from sin now to live in victory through seeking the Lord (Ezek 18:19, 20-32). Seeking God daily and fervently is the furnace that fuels the fire of God to burn all sexual sins to purify ourselves from it all. So a Christian marriage can be holy, even when both the husband or wife had not been virgins before they came together in marriage. What God is concerned is now, how we live now!
Much Blessings....
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