Monday, August 1, 2011

I Feel that God is Angry at Me, Please help me

Is God Angry At Me? I Feel Like That...Please help me.

Q : Thank you for giving me the chance to communicate with you. Thank you also for sharing your testimony with me. God bless you.

Pastor, I just feel like sharing my pain with you. I am a Christian since 28yrs of my life on this earth but I have never seen the power of God in my life. Sometimes I feel like God doesn’t exit but I hear and see Him performing miracles for others, so maybe it’s me that He hates and does not want to see me happy. Pastor, I know you will not agree with me that God hates me but please hear me and put yourself in my shoes then you will feel what am going through.

My 28yrs on this earth has been pain and sorrow. I was born into Christianity just like yours but my dad was not a pastor but an elder of the church. As a young girl and from a poor home I decided to depend wholly on God because I read from the bible that seek first the kingdom of God and all other things shall be added. Life was very rough from my early stage of life. I dropped out from my secondary school and I started working and taking care of myself at a tender age. My hope was in the Lord because I knew from the bible that anybody God wanted to bless went through hardship before they received their blessings from God (eg. Abraham, Joseph, David etc). So as my pain and troubles were increasing day in day out, my expectations were also going high. Pastor, I can’t get words to explain my troubles on this earth to you. To cut everything short. I am twenty eight years old and am far behind success. No certificate, no good job, no good home, no husband, no child. In fact, the only thing that increases in my life is my age.

Aside this, I feel that I have sickness in my blood. Am just reducing weight every day. Also my eye sometimes aches badly and am scared of going blind. I also feel a lump in my breast which I think is cancer but I am scared to go to the hospital for a doctor to confirm. I have nobody to care for me. I feel useless, less important, lonely and rejected. I sometimes sleep without food because no money is there for buying food and other things. I wish I can take my life but the only thing that is keeping me alive is HEAVEN. I don’t want to miss heaven that is why I haven’t taken my life out of this evil world. I don't know why I am still living. I don't know why God still gives me life when He knows He has nothing better for me.

The reason why I am saying that God hates me with passion and he is always happy when I am in pain and in troubles is that, anytime I go into fasting and prayers for God to have mercy on me, my troubles increase. Anytime I go to God in prayer, I don't have dreams, I don't hear His voice, I don't feel anything. I only feel distance from God.

I lost my virginity at the age of 25yrs when life was unbearable for me and I gave up. Before that, I felt that I was weak and I was running out of faith so I prayed to God for Him to just perform something little for me to know that He still cares for me, but just that my time was not due but as always I felt empty and God seemed very far away from me. So I felt that nobody cares weather I keep my virginity or not and gave myself to a man. I later found out that the guy was a married man.

Pastor, I am telling you this because, in my country nobody understands me. I have talked to pastors here but they think I am going thru all these because of my sins. Even if my sins are causing me all these pains I always pray for forgiveness from God. What sin have I committed that God can't forgive me? Pastor I have a lot to say but my message is very long so I will tell u more in my next letter. Pastor, I am a living but a dead person. Help me tell God to have mercy on me. Pastor did Job, David and Jeremiah also went through this same problems when they prayed these prayers…
Job 19:1-29, Psalm 88 and 42, Jer. 20: 18. Please help me. God bless you and thanks for your time. Hope to hear from you. Bye

A: Greetings to you in Jesus name! I praise God for you. All the problems that you face are temporary. I know from the way you have written, you have been going through tremendous problems right now. Some problems have been self made and others have come from the evil one. But the Lord Jesus and our Father in heaven cares for you constantly with His love and His love never changes
(Jer 31:3). He loves you not because you have done something good, but because you are His child. You know that He is not indebted to you, but He chose to die and give His life for your sins unconditionally, because He is the very embodiment of the love of God who has been revealed to you in God's time (1 John 4:8; Heb 1:1-3).

God is not angry with you anymore because He has already put all your past, present and future sins upon Jesus and have chosen to forgive it all when you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior
(Eph 4:32; Col 2:13-14). If you are sure about it, please do say this from your heart, "Dear Father God, I am a sinner in need of you as my Savior. I have messed up my life without you and am not able to carry on in this life peacefully. I turn towards you now in repentance, be the Lord of my life from now on. Thank you that I have received forgiveness now from all my past, present and future sins because you died for me by shedding your blood as a price for God's forgiveness for all my sins. Help me live a life which will be pleasing to God and blessing to people. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!" Now when God the Father sees you, He sees you as He sees Jesus Himself and you are perfectly accepted by Him (Eph 1:6). Now he loves you in the same way He loves His only begotten Son Jesus (John 17:23). Because of this love towards you, His plans for your life is always good and with great hope He expects you to trust Him in this life through the good time and bad times (Jer 29:11; Psa 62:8).

The reason you do not feel exactly just like all that I am telling you now is because we are all fallen humans and our forefather first Adam sinned and have fallen short of the glory and goodness of God
(Rom 3:23; 5:12). The enemy who has caused this down fall was the serpent the Devil (Gen 3:1, 14-15). Even though it was the Devil who caused the down fall of Adam, yet it was because of a bad choice that he took willingly that allowed the Devil to gain ground in to this planet earth and wreck all the life of his descendants (James 1:12-13).

Ever since that day, the enemy who is at loose in this earth have gone to the extent of becoming the god of this world by blinding and influencing the will of all human to his whims and fancies and for his selfish purpose to be fulfilled
(2 Cor 4:4; John 8:40-41). Satan in the beginning took nearly one third of the demons along with him in a insurrection in the beginning when God was laying foundation for this planet earth (Rev 12:4; Job 38:6). Satan never liked the idea of serving God and his children's who will be made in His very own image and kept on earth as gods to rule over the earth (Gen 1:26-28; Heb 1:14; John 10:34-37). As a result of it not only he rebelled usurping the authority of God and planning a own kingdom for himself separately by influencing humans on earth by fear and tyranny (Luke 4:5-8; 2 Tim 1:7), but also as a sadist he wanted men to rebel against God's authority like him and take as many of them as he could in to the judgment and condemnation where he and his rebellious angels would spend the rest of their eternity in Hell fire, where he will be thrown in to it just before the Final White Throne Judgment of God for all humans starts (John 3:18-19; Matt 25:41, 46; Rev 20:1-3, 7-10). The devil knows that his time on earth is due very very soon and he has no time left on earth any more (Rev 12:12). So he is trying his best to steal, kill and destroy all people (John 10:10).

But just because people like you and me who have believed in Jesus as our Lord and Savior cannot be destroyed like he could destroy the useless unbelievers at his will, he is trying his best to cause us to sin and make us miserable as much as he could, so that the people of God might be made to believe a lie and self-destroy themselves because of it. He knows for sure that because Jesus died for every sheep's of his, their eternal destinies cannot be changed
(John 10:27-28). So he is also trying his best to cause depression, unbelief of atheistic kind, sickness, poverty, condemnation, dissatisfaction about life and anger against God. These are all induced in to our fallen soul to make us ineffective kingdom citizens of our God. Then he is also afraid that God's children might influence the unbeliever in such a way that many will start to believe God and go to heaven. So Satan and his demons are trying their best to misrepresent the goodness of God so much these days through the medias like television, internet, schools, universities, etc... and make God look as a tyrant. This has been the constant work of Satan all the days of his in the past, but he has become too mad to make these evil lies as real because we are the last generation that might be here to see all the end time events take place before our very eyes as Jesus has already foretold (Matt 24:34).

As believers in Christ Jesus, these days we need to keep ourselves in the love of God and love towards people to live a blessed life on earth
(Jude 20-21). There will be lack of love in all the world in our generation because of people loving the world more than God and fellow humans (Matt 24:12). But if we keep looking on to God through His Word and His Spirit, in the midst of all the turmoil of this world we will be able to live a blessed life like Abraham lived during the days Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed (Gen 18:16-21; Luke 17:28-30). You need to read the word of God by asking the Spirit of God to speak to you through reading it. You can always say to the Holy Spirit like this before reading the word, 'Dear Holy Spirit, open my spiritual inner eyes to understand Jesus' love towards me as I read the Holy Scriptures today and help me continue to live it. Help me be blessed through your word in Jesus name I pray. Amen!' This will completely change you life.

Many Christians girls lose their virginity because of believing Satan's lie that nobody loves them. But it is exactly the opposite that God says in His word, because He loves His daughters so much, he wants them to keep their virginity for Him in devotion and for their future husband as a gift for him, which God has appointed to bring in His time
(1 Cor 7:32-36; 2 Cor 11:2; Gen 2:22; Matt 19:4-6). You need to forget the past and all things that you have done foolishly because of your own self will and the deception that Satan has led you in to because of not understanding the love of God deeply through His Word (Phil 3:13; Prov 19:3). Don't let your past to hold you on and destroy your great and mighty future in God.

To God because Jesus has done it by paying a price for you through His own blood to forgive all your past, present and future sins, your past is like as though it had never happened before God
(Rom 5:9). When you are saved, you are saved for life and nothing can be added to the finished work of Jesus (Eph 2:8-9). But when you sin and condemnation comes to haunt you, you need not stay that way and be miserable for what you have done either knowingly or unknowingly (1 John 2:1-2; 1 Cor 10:13). You can immediately confess those things to the Lord and He will faithfully forgive you, cleanse you from all unrighteousness immediately (1 John 1:7, 9). After this, if you again feel guilty and condemned with the same old thoughts about what you have done, know for sure that it is the enemy Satan and his demonic cohorts who are trying to make you live in unbelief and be made miserable, even though God in His unconditional love has completely forgiven and cleansed you from your sin (Pro 10:12; Isa 43:1; Jer 31:3). What does the word of God say for this situation, resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7). So speak through your moth loudly, 'I believe that God has forgiven me of my sin Devil, so get lost in the name of Jesus.' That thought will not stay in your mind to haunt you anymore because of the power of God. If the devil comes again, do the same thing. The devil cannot understand your thought but only your words (Rev 12:11). So resist him steadfastly in the word of faith and see the deliverance of the Lord (1 Peter 5:8-9; Rom 10:10).

Please do not go in to fasting and prayer to receive mercy from God, it is unbelief and this will cause only more pain because it is a mockery of Satan that he places in your mind to execute against God who is your loving Father. We actually fast not to move God, but to make our self to be broken enough to hold on to God and his promises in desperation. Fasting does not change God, but it changes us to be in position to renounce the world and live purely for the love of God
(Mark 2:20; Matt 9:15; Luke 5:35). Once we are in love with Jesus, His power will be available mightily over us to dislodge all the powerful demon powers that tries to usurp our word of faith command (Matt 17:21). All demons were defeated by Jesus on the cross once and for all time, but some powerful demons only respond to our authority when we are completely one with Jesus in our existence (Col 2:15). Does a loving physical father requires a little child to plead in fasting and weeping before him to give his love and mercy towards that child? If a human father is like that, how much more our heavenly father freely loves you and wants to give you His best to make you blessed like him on this earth. All you need to do is ask once for any of your needs and then keep believing that he has provided you by thanking and praising Him (Matt 7:7-12; Rom 8:31-32). The greatest way to ask God and continue in perseverance for these things needed in your life is to hold on to your prayer by praising and thanking God in advance for having given what you have asked for (Rom 4:20; Matt 21:22; Mar 11:24). Just let Abba's love fill your life and heal all your past wounds that has been caused by the fallen world. I am sure you will feel not only better, but will enjoy heaven on earth as long as you live with this faith (Deut 11:21).

Don't live by your feeling, it will come and go like a cloud on a rainy day, but know that the love of God shown to you in Christ Jesus will shine always bright beyond those clouds always. Lean to live by His Word and not by your feelings. The Word of God will root your life in the blessedness of God and will make you live the heaven's life on earth. You do not have a past in Jesus Christ, but only have a bright and blessed future that increases day by day like a sun which dawns and gets brighter hour after hour till noon day comes
(Prov 4:18). Take heart dear Sister, you have a great future in God that is waiting to get unfolded, but you have to fight the devil to inherit it on earth. I will be praying that you might prosper in all things as your soul prospers in the Lord (3 John 1:2)! Best wishes!!!


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