Saturday, February 4, 2012

Remarriage and Divorce!

I am Remarried, Should I Get a Divorce?

Q: I don't want to do anything that will keep me and my family from going to be with the Lord!! I don't want to go to hell.

Can you help me with this ?

It has been on mind all day when I have seen what Matthew had written on his wall,

(( Shona Vin Rosy )) : "If so the adultress repents, are you saying that 2 people who are remarried should divorce again and remain single, as an act of repentance? That is a tough one!"

((Roy Thomas)) : "Yes... (Rom 6:1) What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may abound?

(Rom 6:2) Let it not be! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?

IF You steal... should You NOT Return the ITEM, MONEY, Etc....?
IF You are an Alcoholic or use Drugs.. should You STOP...?
Please see Ezra 10:1-to-5...!"

I am remarried and what Roy Thomas is saying I need to get a divorce... I have never heard this before and it is worrying me. I don't want to be doing anything that will make me go to hell. I have been remarried for 19 years, please write me back soon. Thank you. In the Love of Jesus.

A : Greetings in Jesus name! If you have been living like that for the past 19 years, then ask the Lord sincerely sorry and confess it to the Lord. As Apostle John says,
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9). Then once the confession is done....ask sorry to those who have been hurt by this relationship. We all commit sin in one way or the other, and adultery is also such a sin that is done against the Lord and the family that has trusted you. Because your sins have been taken care of by Jesus when you first believed (Heb 10:10-12), you will not go to hell. When you confess your sins, your guilty conscience will be forgiven and cleansed by the Lord which will make you to continue to serve the Lord with boldness (Heb 9:14). God has promised that once the confession is done to Him, He is faithful to forgive your sins and also cleanse it completely from your mind, so that freely you will be able to fellowship with God again from then on. Also you need to believe it and start to live in the liberty that the Holy Spirit gives. As you are already remarried, you need not divorce but take or renew your oath before the Lord and live faithful to each other the rest of your lives. As the word of God also says the same regarding this thing, "10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." (1 Cor 7:10-11).

Money is a commodity and also the drug too is a destructive commodity that can be returned back and stopped. When it comes to remarriage after being in a affair, it is no more a commodity but a person. And the lives of many that is being dealt with in relationship, cannot be returned back and stopped as like a breathless commodity. Once human relationship gets broken, the hurts can be healed as much as possible. But the debris and the wounds that remain on the other side who have been hurt by one's unfaithfulness remains for the rest of their lives unless they themselves approach God to heal it all by letting it go. As it is no more in the power of the one who has caused it, the person who caused hurt can only repent to God and pray that God might bring healing to the hearts of the people who have been affected by what they have done. So only the word of God says,
"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Rom 12:18). As much as possible the unfaithful man or woman who broke the family relationship should try to bring back peace to the lives that has been affected because of unfaithfullness on one's part, if it is not possible then pray that God might step in to heal all their wounds and restore them back. Actually regarding Ezra 10:1-5, it was about believers in the nation of Israel who were following the law of Moses but disobeyed it secretly by taking pagan wives. These believers openly broke the law of Moses by taking pagan wives, they were finally found out and gave a promise to Ezra and the elders that they would put them away and offered a ram as a sin offering (Ezra 10:18-19). In our modern time, Paul said about unbelieving husband or wife who has been yoked to a believer saying, "12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him...15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" (1 Cor 7:12-13, 14-16). In other words, Paul was more graceful towards a unbeliever in the case one unbeliever suddenly becomes a believer in Jesus within a family. Peter the apostle says to live life in such a godly way that even the unbelieving spouse might see and turn to the Lord for salvation someday (1 Peter 3:1-2). In the Old Testament, marriage and divorce was a political law (Deut 7:1-4), in the New Testament it is a spiritual law. It is out of context to quote Ezra 10th Chapter for a believer who has remarried another person because of an illegal affair. Even during Old Testament times, it was absolutely forbidden by God for a person who has remarried after a divorce, to return back to the former husband or wife (Deut 24:1-4). If this is the scenario in the Old Testament Law of Moses, we 
in the New Testament do not do all thing by rule, but by grace of God we make decisions led by the Spirit (John 1:17; Rom 8:2, 4-6, 14). So in the New Testament we ought not be ruled by a yes or no according to the rule book, but by our conscience which hears the ways of God through the Holy Spirit who speaks from inside us to make us grow in our spiritual lives (Rom 9:1)

Before the eyes of God, if a man lives with a woman it is a union. Even if it is illegal one, it is serious in His eyes, first of all such illegal adulterous or fornicative relationship should have been avoided at all cost. At the first instance one should have returned back to one's spouse asking forgiveness. If it was not possible, one should stay alone until reconciliation happen back to one's spouse. In the case of the former spouse not willing to go on, it would be better to stay alone. At the extreme, if someone has remarried the other person with whom the affair was started, one should at least stay faithful to that person until the end of their life and not divorce again to do the same cycle of uncontrollable adulterous lust. This remarriage should be re commited 
before the Lord and others with a repentant heart, so that the Lord might bless the marriage. This is the only way you can live in a godly way by following the Biblical way, God will bless only those who live by obeying the word. 

Much Blessings....


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