Sunday, May 20, 2012

Is It Ok To Promise or Should We Completely Abstain From It?

Regarding Promising By Keeping Hand On Bible

Question : I love a girl, its almost 3 years now, I am waiting for her to complete her studies to marry her. We both are from Pentecostal back ground.

Some years before we both have placed our hands on the BIBLE and promised in a usual way as during the marriage, like
from today we are husband and wife, with GOD as witness...I am her husband from today on wards, I will not cheat or leave her..etc and vice versa.

So I want to ask what we have done is wrong? And Is it so serious, if any one break the promise will there be consequences from GOD, in case if any parents don't agree for our marriage in future?

Answer : Greetings in Jesus name! It is always good not to promise to God anything rashly if we are not intent in doing it.

Jesus said,
" 33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ 34 But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35 nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." (Matt 5:33-37). Jesus said this to remind us that in the Old Testament the minimum requirement was that we should not promise falsely to God something that we are not serious to fulfill it. But as for the Christian of the New Covenant, He has raised the standard to a higher level where our yes should be yes and no should be no. In other words, we should never allow ourself to be influenced by the evil one the devil who makes us promise to God rashly that which we are not serious to fulfill it. Jesus emphasized that God who is in heaven knows all our wrong motives even before expressing it on earth in which He rules from the centre of it. Such intergrity of truth in our speech and words is the kind of behaviour Jesus tells us to follow in the New Covenant by the strength and help of the Holy Spirit. Even the hair in our head we have no control over it actually to turn it naturally black or white with out using hair dye. So Jesus said that it is not good to swear by our head or the Bible or any other object refering to its sanctity as the guarantee for the fulfillment of the truth of our promise or words, because we do not have any ability on our part to change the circumstaces of our life if not for the help of our God.

When ever we tell people something, it is better to tell them,
"if the Lord wills...we shall live to do this and this or that..." (James 4:13-17). The sin of ommision is equally sinful to the sin of commision.

Coming to your life it is good for you not to stir up love until it is time to stir, that is after both of you get married to each other
(Sos 2:7). Do not get intimate until after your marriage, not only I am telling about physical intimacy which is prohibited according to the word of God (1 Cor 6:9-10), but also the emotional intimacy which many in our times think as though it is not serious. But our emotional life is as much equally important to God as our physical one (1 Cor 7:32, 34-35). It is good that you are waiting for the past three years, pray to the Lord that if it is His will for your life that you marry this girl which you have in your mind. Or else tell to the Lord that whatever girl he has in His mind to bring to you in your life. I tell you that this place of unconditional surrender to God's will is the best thing for your life. Let the Lord lead you with the plan that He has in His heart, it is always 100% better than yours all the time. You will thank Him the rest of your life for the blessedness of such perfect match that God brings in His perfect will.

First of all you should not have made a promise by keeping your hands on the Bible and uttering words that were ruled by your emotions rather than by your commitment, which starts only when the real marriage happens in the presence of all the witnesses and people who are present before God's Presence happens. Even if it was a casual thing, it should not have been done. But God understands that you have been ruled by your emotions at that time and therefore confess to God that you have sinned before him and also ask pardon to the girl to whom you have done it rashly and say to her if it is the Lord's will we will get married
(Psa 32:5; 51:4; Jam 5:16; Matt 5:25).

Yes it is wrong to rashly make promise before God of which you both do not have control over it until the real marriage takes place. But God has promised that once you confess to him, He is faithful and just to forgive you and will clease you from all unrighteousness
(1 John 1:9). Once God forgives itself, you know that there can be no condemnation (Rom 8:1), but after that because God promises to cleanse you through the blood of Jesus, your conscience will be made free in such a way that you will begin to feel as though you have never done this sin in your life at all (1 John 1:7; Heb 9:14). This is a glorious promise to avail it! Praise the Lord!

If you have done the above things, you have positioned yourself again in the perfect will of God. Whatever consequences that must have come to you in case for breaking the promise have been put on upon the Lord
(Isa 53:6), and now you are made free to lovingly serve the Lord through prayer and show God's love to people with all your heart (Matt 22:36-40; Eph 2:10). So do not fill your heart with anything but the love for the Lord until your marriage and once you make a commitment through doing God's perfect will in your marriage, then stir up love until you are satisfied and enraptured in the love of your spouse (1 Cor 7:35, 33; Sos 2:7; 3:5; 8:4; Prov 5:15, 18-19). Let God decide the girl who is in His heart and I promise you, the rest of your life will more and more exciting as each day passes on. You will be blessed for generations down the line (Prov 20:7).

I can assure you that your parents will cooperate with you when you are doing His will for your life. Even if they do not understand immediately, later they will come to know that because of you doing His will, they too are blessed abundantly by God.

Much Blessings....


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