Monday, September 16, 2013

How to Deal With One's Past Relationship After Coming To Christ?

Should My Friend Marry This Hindu Girl?

Question : Praise the Lord! Dear Pastor, In our youth meet yesterday we discussed about a christian marriage article from your website It encouraged us greatly. Out of this, a question arose from my friend who was a Hindu boy before. Now he is a born again Christian. He is a good guy, really a burning soul for Christ's glory...But, he before knowing the Lord Christ, he committed to a relationship with a Hindu girl ...she,is also good & homely girl..,they were sincere in their relationship...In your article you said, "can two person walk with the same purpose and same direction if their mind thinks differently." The above statement is very true, He understood & asked me...What can I do now...If I broke the relationship now...I don't know what will happen to that girl!!! She will do anything...because they loved each other soulfully with truthfulness.... But my friend after accepting Christ...He used to preach gospel to everyone, including her and as a result she also is now starting to read the Bible..and does prayers..,etc... What is the solution for it...My thinking is, in the future the girl also will accept Christ with her whole heart...because she is now reading the truth! So what he has to do for this!!! If he breaks the relationship then one soul be lost!! If he encourages her in Christ and leads her to knowing the truth, then truth will set her free, as a result of it one soul will be gained!!! What is the solution? Explain us in a practical and Biblical way. Explain to us practically and also Biblically...Thanks.

Answer : Greetings to you in Jesus name! Praise the Lord that your friend who has been in spiritual darkness has been born again from above to receive the light of Jesus and has become a burning soul for Christ's glory. I praise God that our website has been used by God around the world as a continual blessing to many like you and your friends. GLORY TO God!

In your friend's life, I tell you of the sin that he had been involved in was been having a relationship with a girl before he ever got married with her, and this is fornication as the Bible clearly reveals
(1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Sin is transgression of the law of God (1 John 3:4). According to Hebrews 13:4 in the Bible, a prostitute, a harlot, a whore, were all guilty of the same thing - fornication. God's view of marriage bed starts the day we are born, before which itself he has a perfect person according to his will who will be given to us in the right time He has planned. Fornication is a sin against our own body which is the other person who is going to marry us in the future time. Jesus challenged every human to stay pure in their body, thoughts and emotions which are equally a spiritual adultery in the heart according to God (Matt 5:27-29). So we were all in some way and degree like that before we came to Christ, but now as we have come to Christ, we should choose to leave behind all these garbage of sinful lifestyle and start to live holy for God and our Lord Jesus who has given us His very life to make us as a sanctified saints in Him (1 Cor 6:11; 1 Peter 4:3, 1-2).

The Bible says that,
"15 and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. 16 Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Cor 5:15-17). The above verses clearly reveal that because our old life of sin is gone forever being dead in Christ's death, now with the new life we no longer should live for sin and self, instead of living for the old natural fleshly connection of our old relationship with sin, we should start to live for the risen Christ and his will to be done in our lives.

Death to sin and self is a familiar theme in Paul.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me" (or a similar statement) is found in virtually every one of his letters (Gal 2:20, compare Rom 6:6-14; Eph 2:1-5; Col 2:20). When Augustine the great man of God returned to his hometown after his conversion in Milan, his former girlfriend called to him: "Augustine, Augustine, it is I!" He turned to her and said: "Yes, but it is not I." Where there is a radical change of attitude toward life and self, that is the true conversion that the Bible speaks about.

So your friend should make a hard choice to hear the voice of Jesus and leave behind his old life to ask Jesus guidance through his voice within to do His will for his life
(John 10:27). He should tell of his faith to that girl and clearly state the vision that God has given for his life. If the girl has faith in Jesus and wanted to follow him still, she will agree with his vision and will co-operate to follow Jesus with the same thinking and direction in her mind. Or else she will refuse to carry on further in her relationship. This is what Paul said when he stated to the people who came to Christ as believers but that their wife or husband were still unbelievers, "12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" (1 Cor 7:12-16).

Just because she is reading the truth now does not guarantee that she will become a believer in Christ Jesus to work with him in the ministry of propagating the gospel in the future. If your wife or husband is a unbeliever, how can you know whether you will save your husband or wife for sure?, was the question Paul asked the believing husband or wife who believed. In other words just because they were saved doesn't guarantee that their wife or husband will also get automatically saved. No man or woman know for sure who will be saved, it is better to marry within the Biblical boundary of getting yoked with a believer, I also recommend it in this case too (2 Cor 6:14). To gain one soul for God cannot be done in God's way by disobeying his clear command not to marry a person who is a unbeliever. To God always obedience is better than any great sacrifice that we think we do for God, more than any sacrifice we make for God, it is the broken spirit that trusts and obeys Him completely that gives Him joy (1 Sam 15:22; Psa 51:17). To marry a unbeliever expecting them to become a believer after marriage is clearly breaking God's command, and then expecting God to help the unbeliever through a miraculous change to build a good Christ-centered Christian family is like marrying a devil's child and then expecting them to change just because we have married them. Will God bless it? By no means. God has never told that He will bless disobedience just because someone is his child. Do not forget that Satan will be the mother-in-law of such a believer who will have to deal with him within their house often. I am just speaking in a lighter vein, do not mistake me... I mean the Bible says that all who walk in darkness without the spiritual light of Jesus are under the power of Satan (Eph 5:8; Acts 26:18).

I have seen some believers who got married with unbelievers, some were able to convince their spouse by the mercies of God to get them saved through the godly life they lived before them and thus build a good christian home later in their lives, and also I have seen believers who got married with unbelievers mess up their family life to live in chaos the rest of their lives and live purposelessly wasting their precious one life that God had given them. So it is still a fifty fifty chance and has no guarantee to succeed hundred percentage even though the unbelieving spouse become religious without ever becoming a true born-again child of God (Matt 24:40-41; 25:1-12). It is not good to waste one's life that God has given us to live for Him by taking a fifty fifty chance. But it is better to hear the voice of our Master shepherd Jesus by desiring to do His will and asking Him without any precondition (John 10:27). If God shows a wrong motive, one should immediately humble oneself and be ready to take a decision that will please Him. Such person cannot be deceived by the enemy of our soul who deceives all believers to make them waste their precious life without any use to God or His purposes (John 10:10; 2 Thess 2:11-12).

Finally today is the "day of salvation" (2 Cor 6:2-3), so if the girl is saved now, let your friend go ahead or else let him not put his life to chances by marrying the wrong girl outside of the will of God. May God guide Him in to the destiny that He has for him and may the girl whom he had relationship in the past also come to realize the truth of salvation through Jesus and be saved for eternity ahead (John 14:6).

Much Blessings....


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