Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Does Christian Marriage Has No Exit Out At All Till Death?

Does "Death Us Do Part" Is From The Bible Or Not?

Question: Does "death us do part" which is used as the basis of the promise we make in the Christian marriage ceremony and thereafter keep it in our married life is from the Bible or not? Also is it a physical death that it conveys or a emotional death of severing of oneness that has been just spiritual joining of two people?

Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name! The biblical basis for the phrase in the wedding vows that state, “till death do us part,” is based on the first declaration of vows God pronounced over in the first marriage ceremony He conducted saying, "24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." (Gen 2:24-25). We can infer from the fact that when God first joined a man and his wife as one flesh before Him through the way He sees them, it is forever as Jesus Himself referred to this marriage conducted by God in the beginning, and further said " 4 ..., "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" from which we can infer that before sin came in to this world God wanted marriage to be a eternal union, but because of sin it rather became a physical union and even divorce has to be given because sin have come to affect the union of marriage by hardening men and women's heart to depart from each other even before death (Matthew 19:4–6).

In other words in Matt 19;4-6, Jesus says that since God has joined a husband and wife together they should not separate. Because God wants eternal union by His original intent, God hates divorce of any kind for any reason (Malachi 2:16). To explain in a simple way, if Adam and Eve had not eaten the forbidden fruit, then they would have lived forever and their marriage would have been eternal. However, they ate, and divorce is a result of living in sin-cursed world. God’s original plan for marriage was for it to be a permanent relationship between a husband and wife forever.

When a marriage is conducted by a priest or a pastor, the vows spoken by them are commands to be repeated by the couple which are meant to be obeyed when it is repeated in the Presence of God before all people. Marriage is a commitment, a covenant, a promise that we make to our spouse and to God who is present in all the marriages that take place in all the earth first and foremost, and also we make it before people who witness it during marriage so that they can become a witness for or against us when we keep it or break it unfaithfully. Whether it is a ceremony that is conducted or just a joining of two people in relationship with no one but them to witness it before God doesn't matter. But marriage is kept before witnesses at least two or three, so that the couple cannot take marriage lightly as it is the institution of God, and that they are accountable to the God who they do not see and also to the brethren whom they see around them during marriage (1 John 4:20-21), so that in case of any broken promises, they can be taken to court of law before those who have witnessed the marriage, to keep them accountable before God and men.

We now know that in Christian marriages the vows are based on inferring from the above doctrine of first marriage conducted by God, and are usually phrased like the following for the couples to repeat, "I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness." So we know that the very word "till death do us part" is not taken directly from any Bible verse but rather from the idea of the first marriage conducted by God whose institution is marriage till today.

We also know from Scripture that the phrase in the marriage vow "death us do part" is not just spiritual oneness but essentially physical oneness that it talks about because apostle Paul said, "2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man." (Rom 7:2-3).

Therefore Paul also says that, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Heb 13:4), which in other words means, because God is the one who stood at the time of marriage commitment made by a husband and wife, He is the one who will judge the person who unfaithfully will break the promise between them which is "death do [them] part" physically restraining their accessibility to their partner. If one of the partner in marriage dies physically, the other partner is freed from the promise of the earthly marriage, and are free to marry anyone in the Lord which means marry any other Christian, as their spouse will be no more (1 Cor 7:39). So in a Christian marriage even though the promise "till death do us part" is primarily a physical vow, it also includes the spiritual aspect of their partner as the oneness is a union of two spirit, soul and body which becomes one in union in marriage through God who makes it to become one in every aspect as they keep God in the center of their marriage life and living.

In today's world even Christians wants to divorce a husband or a wife, for reasons other than adultery or fornication by saying that if you feel emotionally, intellectually, or mentally “dead” towards your spouse then it’s okay to divorce them (Matt 5:32), remember saints, God considers such cases as unfaithful breaking of covenant, adulterous and fornicative act against God. He will be the one who will judge such person at the right time in their life, be they a preacher, teacher of the Bible or any great gifted man or a woman, or a saints whom nobody knows except God. Also the great apostle Paul clearly repeats the same saying in 1 Cor 7:10, "To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband".

Jesus said, "And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matt 19:9), in other words, only when a husband or wife has been unfaithful to keep their promise of staying in chastity and are involved in adultery, the other spouse can divorce him or her Biblically. The only other reason a husband can let go of his wife is when she doesn't want to live with him voluntarily because of his faith in the Word of God which she doesn't believe, and has no regard towards his faith, in this case he can let go of the unbelieving spouse for God has called the believer to live in peace and not in turmoil of peacelessness (1 Cor 7:11-13, 14, 15-16). If the wife is a believer, we know that the "wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." (1 Cor 7:11). The husband must learn to love her believing wife like Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:25), which is 'while the saints were still sinners Christ loved them' (Rom 5:8), so that they could be saved by His love (John 3:16). In other words, God says that while a Christian wife still has so much of failings in her and is not perfect in her submission to her husband, the husband as a man under the authority of Christ should learn to love her and accept her in her imperfection. How long can a Christian wait if the believing wife separates herself from the believing husband or vice-versa? It depends upon whether the wife is really a believer who has a Christian world view and conviction or a name sake Christian who has no regard for the Word of God and the faith which the believing husband holds, so that she openly declares that she has no intention to cohabit with the husband and says she will not live with the husband for no valid reason she has against the husband except his faith and work he does for God which he is called to fulfill by God (1 Cor 7:12-13). Also it depends on whether God has shown the husband whether the wife will return back in a dream or a vision and confirmed it with others too who work for the faith of yours to grow, like the Pastor or a spiritual guide who mentors you as a Father (Acts 2:17-18). Finally it also depends on whether the husband without the wife, can control himself sexually and not burn with passion so that Satan tempts him to fall in to adultery when the wife is not willing to come back to live with the husband for years together (1 Cor 7:5). In such cases, the husband should carefully under the guidance of some godly counselors and the conviction of the Holy Spirit, should let God guide them to fulfill His will for their lives (Rom 12:1, 2; Prov 11:14; John 16:8; 2 Tim 3:6-7; 1 Tim 5:11-16).

So a Christian marriage being a institution of God directly under His control, we as believer in Christ Jesus should carefully in all fear of God and with all due respect to God we should deal these matters that are related to marriage. Through marriage our intention should always be to glorify God within this institution appointed by God. The highest of our desire should sanctified within marriage to make it more than a physical existence, that is, to make it a existence of divine glorious oneness in spirit, soul and body, through God becoming the glue between the husband and wife to gel them together to fulfill God's plan and purpose for their lives within that divine oneness.

Much Blessings....


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