Friday, December 20, 2019

Is It Sinful To Lust After My Own Husband?

Is It Biblically Right For Me To Use The Recorded Sexually Intimate Past Video That I Have Taken With My Husband To Be Used For Masturbation Because Of His Unavailability?

Question: I am married, however my husband has a bad drug problem (meth-needles) on top of that we don't live together because of financial problems (so if he is cheating on me, I won't know)... I am scared to have intercourse sometimes with him because of this, but I do have my needs. We have made video in the past. I understand that masturbation would be considered a sexual lust, but if that lust is after my own husband would it be considered a sin?

I've been fighting this until I have confirmation on this, I feel too embarrassed to ask my pastors wife. I'm new Pentecostal, got the holy ghost, and been baptized... I don't want to dishonor my lord ..but I am infact confused.

Can you please assist me to find an answer on this question.

Thank you for your time and God bless.

Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name!

The Word of God clearly says,
"So ought men also to love their own wives as their own bodies: he that loves his own wife loves himself." (Eph 5:28). In other words, when a family is functional and the husband is able to stay sound and devoted in his mind towards his wife through a sacrificial love just like Christ loved his Church to death, they will love their wife as they love themselves because of the oneness of heart that they are able to experience with their wife which will make them understand that the more they love their wife by giving up their own rights and privileges, the more the blessedness of the unity of heart, soul and mind they will be able to feel and experience in their life. As the wife in oneness work only for the benefit of the husband, he will be able to trust her and self-sacrificially love her to death as she will enrich his life in every way and every day (Prov 31:11). By practicing death to self, the life of the wife will rise to life within the heart, soul and body of the husband to experience oneness within the family life (Matt 10:39; 16:25).

I understand the anxiety you are going through as a child of God, every drug problem is a demonic bondage that keeps the family dysfunctional
(Jam 3:13-16; Mark 7:20-23). It is not the will of God that you should live seperately, as the apostle Paul instructs the husband and wife both to live together and have regular giving of one another selflessly in sexual intercourse, except for a limited time by agreement for the sake of fasting and praying, after which they are both instructed to come together again in the intimacy of sex within marriage regularly to avoid immorality and burning with passion which will defile the soul and may lead to defilement of one's body through infidelity if not for the grace of God (1 Cor 7:5-6, 2, 9; Gen 20:6).

Apostle Paul said,
"But if a man makes no provision for those dependent on him, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is behaving worse than an unbeliever." (1 Tim 5:8, Weymouth New Testament). If you are not able to receive financial support and also know whether your husband is faithful to you or not, it means the communication between you both has totally got closed. When you are scared, it means that you are on a risk and so you are fearing of sexually transmitted disease or contracting HIV through sexual encounter with your husband. Yes there is a risk and real danger of getting affected by (STD) sexually transmitted diseases when someone is addicted to drugs!

I feel that is why Jesus clearly said, "
If there is sexual immorality, there is every right for the husband or the wife to divorce their partner rightfully before God and marry another person again to legally come in to a new marital contractual agreement with someone else, and avoid illegally entering in to the area of sinful adultery in the sight of God." (Matt 19:9, Abi's Translation). So you can decide whether you want to continue in the danger of contracting STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) and fear of abuse within your marriage, or remarry and stay within a new unit legally and righteously in the sight of God and within the will of God (Matt 6:33).

The great apostle Paul clearly says to new believers who have come in to the faith with a unbelieving spouse who has been married to them before they ever became a believer by saying,
"15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" (1 Cor 7:15-16). In other words, a person who wants to depart from a spouse because of their spouse's new found faith in the Lord Jesus, should be allowed to depart if they want, or else if they want to remain in marital wedlock knowing that their spouse has found the Christian faith and values which were not there before when they came together, then the believing spouse should not depart from them. If the unbelieving spouse expects you to become conformed to their behavior and values of the world, it is better to get out of bondage in such cases, as the two cannot walk together in the same path unless they agree to disagree in certain areas of life, and still hold hands to walk together in self-sacrificing love (Amos 3:3; 1 Peter 3:1-2). By stubbornly praying to God, we cannot bend the will of a unsaved man to become saved, but when we pray, we let God orchestrate things and help people get saved by their own volition, and yet we do not have guarantee hundred percentage of the time that the unbelieving spouse will be saved because we have prayed (1 Cor 7:16). In fact, God respects the will of even an atheist and unbeliever to let them decide for themselves, so that even at the cost of the sovereign authority of His will over them, His purpose for the existence of this universe is done through their will and not apart from it, and thus avoiding forcefully influencing them to work for him like a robot (Col 1:16-17). But the bottom line is always with God, who has given humans the power to decide, but not the power to deny the results of the good or bad choice they had made. So I think you need to move on in life as you have to meet your needs, and not long for something like masturbation that has the potential to create more lust and lead in to life of adultery and fornication, that is why when someone lusts, Jesus equated it to spiritual adultery in their heart, that gets enflamed within their heart to become fulfilled later in their body as in the life of those who will be cast in to hell with their whole body as a unbeliever, who use their own body to fulfill all their lust the way they want and the time they want in their old Adamic nature of the sinful flesh (Matt 5:27-30).

Masturbation within marriage mutually in love is not sinful, but when it is done exclusively in isolation or even with the knowledge of the other partner through lust to satisfy self is absolutely sinful
(Prov 18:1). Love gives, but lust demands. Love humbly sacrifices, lust pridefully boasts. Love is of God, lust is of self. Promote love within marital life, deny lust to stay satisfied in marital life (1 Cor 13:3). True godliness always ends up in love, a love that gives itself so that it could receive without any expectation of return replication of the same act from those who have received it.

Making a sexual video of your intimacy with your husband is not a natural Biblical trend to follow, but it is a sinful trend of our generation that has been rampant in promoting masturbation, promiscuity and all kinds of unnatural fetishes and perversions that is leading themselves and others around the world to greater and greater voilence against women and children who are weak vessels, and also it is breaking marriages and families, that is pushing the world to judgmental wrath of God as in the days of Noah and Lot
(1 Peter 3:7; Eph 6:4; Luke 17:24-30; Rev 3:10; 16:1, 9, 11). Awake, arise and shine saint of God!

Many times we learn the way of God the hard way through many trials and tribulations that we experience
(John 16:33; Jam 1:2, 12), and thus it is better to not take the video of sexual intimacy of ourselves with our spouses as it can mislead us in to slippery path of downslide in our own spiritual lives, and also become a stumbling block in the lives of others too in whose hands it might slip in to unaware because of lack of security in our digital world where we live day in and day out. Love is the self-giving kind within the marital lives that God has created marriage for, which gives a breath of new life in the heart of those who value the institution of marriage (Eph 5:28). Lust is the receiving kind that demands and never ready to deny itself its craving for indulgence that leads to death, and thus lust should be denied place through self-control or the sexual craving must be soon met within a lawful marriage to solve the need at all cost, and we cannot give reasons for indulging in it as all sex outside of marriage is illegal in the sight of God (1 Cor 7:9; Prov 6:27-32). Delete the old videos as soon as possible, because they might become the wrong idol to mislead you away from the love of God which He has for you in Christ Jesus your Lord and Savior (1 John 4:16; Rom 8:28, 37-39).

One thing we must understand is, love and lust cannot go together. When one operates, the other needs to be denied. Love is of God, but lust is of self. Lust has the potential to become demonic if it becomes a habit and can lead to great sins against God and men. So a snake is a snake, and its poison is a poison. Lust is a lust, and its sinful poison is a poison no matter who receives its venomous bite. Sometimes sin thrills for some time, but never forget that it also kills after some time though it might get delayed for a time.
"4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails." (1 Cor 13:3-8). Now lust is the opposite of all of the above character we see in love. Love thrives to life, lust leads to death. There are no inbetween to choose in life.

So I believe that you should re-marry a godly person and move on in life if the danger for your own life continues to escalate from where you are today. Pray to the Lord for His guidance in your life and build a godly home to live a life that will bring Glory to the name of our Lord Jesus!

Much Blessings....


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