Thursday, January 9, 2020

I Just Don't Know How To Handle This Trial?

My Husband Is Determined To Get A Divorce, What Should I Do?

Question: My husband is determined to get a divorce. I have fasted and prayed, offered everything I could, made every possible change, left him alone, addressed every concern, gone to counseling, and done everything in my power. Nothing will change his mind. He said that it is not anything that I did, he simply doesn't love me and wants to remain single forever. I am very young and want nothing more than to be a mother and a Godly wife, in fact, I've always felt that it was my calling in life. Why is it possible that he can choose to abandon me and his vows to God, but I have to live the rest of my life dealing with the consequences of his choices? I do not want this divorce, and yet I have to live the rest of my life alone. I know that God will bring me through, I just don't know how to handle this trial.

Answer: Greetings in Jesus wonderful name!

There might be a lot of reasons for the husband or wife to want to get a divorce, but within a Christian marriage, there are a few valid reasons that God gives for the divorce to happen or initiate it to be freed from the bond of marriage which is actually a lifelong bond that God has made between the husband and wife.

The only reasons that God accepts legally when divorce is initiated or remarriage is done are,

1) Sexual immorality and infidelity of the other partner within marriage which is an acceptable ground for divorce and remarriage before God 
(Matt 19:9).

2) When one partner deserts like a unbeliever or is a unbeliever who rejects the covenant and wants to come out of the covenant of marriage through divorce because of the Christian faith towards God that their spouse have or have come to experience after their marriage, which he or she as the other partner dislikes and totally rejects, and thus hates continuing in the bond of marriage
(1 Cor 7:15-16; Amos 3:3).

3) When one partner dies before time and thus someone is left alone
(Rom 7:2-3).

Except for the above three reasons, there remains no godly reason to initiate a divorce or seek for a remarriage in a Christians life.

If someone's spouse is the one deciding on divorce, they may not be able to stop him or her through current divorce laws. However, the believer can try to persuade their spouse if he or she is a Christian to consider a legal separation first for sometime, which would give both the partners more time to consider the issue so that he or she can return back to home or remain seperate until that time when union happens again sometime in the future after that partner repents of her or his past misdeeds and look forward to live a faithful life of a Christian marriage of one to another
(1 Cor 7:10-11).

When you say that your husband is determined to get a divorce from you for no reason at all even when you have fasted and prayed, offered everything you could, made every possible change, left him alone, addressed every concern, gone to counseling, and done everything in your power, then it is time for your to realize that nothing is in your hands and that all you need to do is
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7). No human on earth or angel in heaven has the ability to care for you like the Lord. But only when you cast on Him all your fear, anxiety and shame upon Him day by day, hour after hour, second after second, He will be able to keep your life filled with peace that passes all your natural understanding which can only be able to guard your heart in God in the midst of all your fiery trial, tribulation and endeavour you are facing in your life (Php 4:6-7). When you learn to live in the peace of God day in and day out by the grace of God, your life is expected to be the most fruitful life for the Glory of God as God in involved in solving your life issues and get justice done at the end. It may not be at your expected time God will solve all your issues, but in His appointed time, you will become the most blessed person in all the earth as God will carry you every inch forward in your life and living. There is no better life on earth to live than to live a life within the center of the will of God, where you and God exist everywhere you turn in your life and living (Psa 73:24-26). So it is good to draw near to God daily to cast all your burdens or anxiety to the Lord in prayer, so that you can put your trust safely in the Lord and declare all His great and glorious work done through your life in the future and for eternity (Psa 73:28).

Yes marriage is a institution of God and therefore those who defile the sanctity of marriage, God will judge as He has clearly revealed through the inspired writer to the Book of Hebrews saying,
"4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. 5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6 So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”" (Heb 13:4-6). In fact, the above verse does speak to people like you who have been pushed to wits end for no supposed fault of yours as you have expressed it to me clearly from your side. If someone breaks the covenant of God and take it lightly to defile the marriage bed or their heart to want to stay alone to have solo sex to seek their own desire of fulfillment (Prov 18:1; Matt 5:27-30, 31-32), they will be judged by God severely so as to make them realize their fault if they are really a believer in Christ to make them return back or if they are unbeliever judge them in such a way that they will live their lives with regret and torment of mind for the rest of their lives on earth, and in physical and spiritual torment for eternity ahead if they fail to repent and look to the Lord for the salvation of their soul now on earth before they die (Luke 15:31-32; 16:23, 25, 30-31). The test of a spouse faithfulness to the covenant in marriage, is based on whether that person repent from the way of unfaithfulness by repenting towards the Lord for all their evils, misdeeds and unrighteous deeds. When someone is a unbeliever at heart and wants to break the covenant of marriage, we can never be sure whether they will return back to us through repentance or not in the present or in the future (1 Cor 7:14-16). But for sure we can pray for the salvation and repentance of those who have left us in unfaithfulness, and bless them in the name of Jesus so that something wonderful can happen to them as well as to us who have been affected by them for the Glory of God (Matt 5:43-48; Rom 12:18-19; Job 42:10).

When someone doesn't change his mind from divorcing, it means that his mind is filled with someother thing which engages him to behave the way he is behaving. It might be someother person, or it might even be filled with himself that he is trying to isolate himself, but no matter what it is, God is able to touch your spouse in one way or the other to deal with him as he has promised to judge and bring justice to you who is the child of God as He is the only and only Sovereign judge who rules over the entire earth
(Psa 9:8). You got to pray persistently always and never lose heart until you see the result that God intends to give to you to Glorify Him through it all (Luke 18:1-8), in fact whatever tangible result God will give, it will be the best possible result for you at the end of it all (Luke 6:21; Jam 5:10-11). Hallelujah!

May be because of being pricked in your spouse's conscience
(Acts 2:36-37), He said that it is not anything that you did, he simply doesn't love you and wants to remain single forever as against the will of God which commands, "Husbands, [to] love [their..] wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Eph 5:25). No one should take marriage lightly, but each one should take much care and consideration and serious thought before getting in to it because it is an institution of God where the Lord becomes the witness between the wife and the husband, and therefore He hates to see the spouse deal treacherously to divorce the spouse who have been attached by God as to become One through covenant made in the presence of people who have come to the marriage made by law (Mal 2:14-16). The witness of God in marriage oath taken before him in His Presence and the witness of humans about the event are two sides of the same coin, because God keep the couples accountable before Him through humans who have witnessed it in His Presence (Matt 22:1-14). A marriage should be witnessed by people too, as it becomes binding to a society which by nature will demand justice which have been set by God in anycase of injustice done to anyone in it (Matthew 18:16; Ruth 4:9-12; Rom 7:1-7). Yes when you say, you are very young, and want nothing more than to be a mother and a Godly wife as you have always felt this as your calling in your life, you are absolutely right according to the Bible (1 Tim 5:14). Yes indeed it is your primary calling in your life as per the purpose and the will of God for young Christian women like you to become a godly mother and raise offsprings that will bring great glory to God and blessing to you and your family and the society at large when they grow up to become responsible and godly adults and citizens in the society (1 Tim 5:14; Tit 2:3-5; Isa 66:7-9).

Having dealt with all the basics of marriage and it intricate nuances according to the Bible, we are moving on to a million dollar question, 'why is it possible that a husband can choose to abandon his wife and his vows to God, but that the wife have to live the rest of her life dealing with the consequences of his choices?' Such questions have intrigued great saints and small alike in the times past, because as a human we demand our own rights and justice before God and men, as we humans have been created in the likeness of God and his own image
(Gen 1:26-27). There is a sense of justice that remain in humans beings demading their own rights and those of the fellow humans when they have a conscience that is alive or that which has been kept tidy through a righteous life lived based on following a law of a religion (Php 3:6). But the righteousness aspect of life is that which gives a human the power and authority to rule over sin which can only come through belief in Christ and repentance towards God through Him (Luke 13:3, 5). And only through righteousness that comes through imputation and impartation, the Kingdom aspect of the lifestyle of anybody can be transformed in to that of a righteous man (Rom 4:22; Gal 3:6, 11; 2 Cor 5:21; Php 3:9-11; Rom 14:17; 12:2). Righteousness of Christ imputed to us in to our heavenly bank account, is like a company opening a bank account to put a lot of cash in to it to make a man rich enough to lift him out of the pit of poverty. But righteousness of Christ imparted is like the same company putting the cash or card in to our hand to help us spend as much as possible and anywhere required authoritatively. A man becomes rich with the imputed righteousness of Christ, but through imparted righteousness of Christ in to him, he will become spiritually rich enough to make him work for God in power and authority for the Glory of God anyplace and anytime. Certain believers stay with imputed righteousness and will not receive imparted righteouness further after they are saved by hungering and thirsting after it to get filled by it (Matt 5:6), they will live a fruitless life. Is your husband such a fruitless Christian or is a religious unbeliever? We have to evaluate it, so that we can really understand what needs to be done in such a scenario which you are facing in your life.

Certain facts we have to accept before we can really understand the truth of why bad things happens to good people. Jesus did not sugar coat the truth just to have a following after him or to create a religion, but he spoke the truth to the point where people killed him for speaking it alone.

1) Sin entered the world through one man our forefather Adam when He disobeyed God's only commandment and listened to the voice of his wife instead of making her listen to the voice of God through him, therefore death which is the wages of sin has spread to all humans as an act of God's judgment till today
(Rom 5:12). Hence the world we live in is a fallen world where sin rules every human being and Satan uses it to deceitfully to draw them to bid for his own purposes to be fulfilled through their blindness (2 Cor 4:4).

2) God has given the authority to rule over the earth to humans, and humans have lost that through their sinful life to Satan who rules them deceitfully
(Gen 1:28; Psa 115:16; Matt 4:9).

3) Man still has a choice to choose good or evil
(Gen 2:16-17; 3:11), but has no power to deny the consequence of their choice which has been divinely orchestrated to be judged by God righteously (Gen 4:7).

4) Many people because of God's goodness of not giving immediate judgment still choose not to follow God but to follow the dictates of their own fleshly heart which guides them to do evil, madness is in the heart of people who do evil until death comes as a judgment to stop their evil deeds
(Jer 7:24; 18:12; Eccl 8:11; 9:3).

5) Because of the wrong choices of people and their evil heart, the righteous people get greatly affected and therefore God has clearly expressed that He has set a day of vengeance in which all will be judged by the soverign righteous judge who will reward each one according to their deeds
(Eccl 12:14; 2 Cor 5:10; Rev 20:12).

6) Until the final judgment, the very sin of the evil doers will entrap their lives and this is a judgment of God
(Prov 5:22; 29:6). The little the righteous man has will be blessed now on earth until they enter in to that eternal blessedness of the new earth and new heaven (Psa 37:16-20).

7) God is angry with the wicked every day
(Psa 7:11), and looks and gives time for them to repent of their evil works and turn to God to do good works instead (2 Peter 3:9). He many times warns them and then He intervenes in his appointed time to execute His judgment (Job 33:14-30; Eccl 3:17; Acts 17:31; Heb 9:27), and to judge humans on earth itself and bring justice to the oppressed (Gal 6:7; Psa 146:7).

God has promised to take vengeance on behalf of all His children the righteous people who have chosen to suffer and commit all injustice to the Lord to bring judgment upon the wicked, and justice to their own lives who have been affected for no reason of their own fault
(Rom 12:19).

But the great news for the children of God is, God not only will serve justice for their lives, but also has promised that He will turn all the evils done against them both by Satan and the wicked people who did harm them maliciously to be turned around to become a blessing to them for now and for eternity
(Gen 50:20). God is able to use the evil to become good to His dear children. Hallelujah!

The very idea of why should evil things happens to good people is not the right question to ask, but why should not evil things be let to happen when a good God who is able to turn all the evil things to become good both for now and for eternity is by our side having promised to fulfill it for everyone one of us who have been called and chosen and preordained to love Him and trusts in Him
(Rom 8:28-30)?

It is upto us to trust God to live a life of positivity by seeing the light of His promises shine upon us and live rejoicing in this dark negative world of deception and delusion that tries to keep us blind and ignorant of the great treasures that God has given to us through the prophetic Word of God which is the Bible in our hands
(2 Peter 1:19-21; 2 Tim 3:16-17; Php 4:4).

It is one thing to whine and fume asking all the questions but still remaining in pitying about our own condition, and where we have landed without ever asking or desiring for it, or even ever wishing such a things to others even in our imaginations. But it is totally another thing to take life as it is within its limitation and go beyond the limitation by faith to understand that God by His sovereignty have foreordained us to be overcomer and therefore we should choose to rejoice in the trials and tribulations we are temporarily facing, as the reward for our faith and patience is huge in eternal proportions
(Gen 45:7-9; Heb 10:35-36; Jam 1:2-4). What ever evil that happens now, God meant it for good at the end (Gen 50:20).

So it is possible that your husband can choose to abandon you and his vows to God but God has promised that He will never leave you nor forsake you because you are His dear child and that He wants you to humble yourself under His mighty hand of godly spiritual elders of the Church or counsellors submitting to their guidance and wisdom from the Word of God and give all your cares to Him because He cares for you
(Heb 13:5; 1 Peter 5:5, 6-7). So that you can choose not to let the bad choice of your husband if ever taken in haste in divorcing you be let to affect you the rest of your life on earth, instead you can choose to marry again a good believer whom God brings to you and live for the Glory of God to build a godly home which will bless you and the rest of the human lives on earth through your faith and patience which brings God's reward (1 Cor 7:15-16, 20, 2-3; 1 Cor 7:39; 2 Cor 6:14; 1 Tim 5:14). Choosing to live alone is not the will of God for you, but to build a family again with the help and guidance of God is (Gen 2:18, 20). Let go and let God, and all will be well with you and your life, I mean the rest of the time of your life on earth. It was not the perfect will of God for the earth to be chaotic in the beginning, but Satan created a scenario against the will of God, but the Spirit of God was waiting and hovering till the appointed time of God to recreate a earth for the Glory of God, this is the same model we are supposed to follow when chaos comes in to own life, we should brood by faith on the promises of God and wait till the appointed time of God in patience through which we should also choose to create peace for ourselves in the will of God by giving our cares daily to the Lord. And as we go onwards in the Shalom of faith day by day we must also choose to forget whatever is behind us so that it will be easy for us to press-on in to the full purpose of God until the end after which we will be rewarded for eternnity ahead for all our works of faith fully which means whatever we have received on earth as reward is just a bonus only (Gen 1:1-4; Php 3:13-14).

In the blood-line of Jesus too, you see some of the people whose lives have been affected by the poor choices of others and also by the bad environment around them, they rose up by faith to become the ancestor of Jesus Christ Himself and inherit all the promises of God which shows to us, that we can rise in life by faith or fall down in life if we let unbelief to rule our lives and magnify the tragedies that come to us. Sufficient is the trouble for the day
(Matt 6:34), do not take it to the next day instead take it to the Lord eachday for he cares for you (1 Pet 5:7). You are always a winner in Christ Jesus because all the promises of God are yes and amen to you in Him according to the Word of God (2 Cor 1:20; 2:14). If we choose to trust God and stay in faith to be positive in our lives, we can be able to turn the test and trails in to triump and testimony for the Glory of God at the end of it all. So I ask you to daily keep your cares on the Lord, He will guide you through this trial and lead you to experience His blessing that comes through faith and patience to become experienced and blessed beyond all you can think and imagine in all areas of your personal life and family. Hallelujah! GLORY!

Much Blessings.....


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